fighting the urges.....................

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by faeriegirl, Jul 28, 2008.

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  1. faeriegirl

    faeriegirl Active Member

    to just end it all right now. Seriously. I lost my job. We now might lose our house. We're a month behind on payments. Ive applied to 80 bazillion jobs and havent heard anything yet. Everytime I wake up in the afternoon (not sleeping at night anymore so I sleep the day away) I just feel like I am going to be sick. I cant even afford to buy food for my fing dogs! OMG. I am SUCH a failure. How can someone suck at life THIS badly? HOW! OMG. My DH hates me for losing my job. He brings up EVERY FUCKING DAY how he is the only one with a job, makes me feel even more like shit. I am honestly surprised that I havent just offed myself yet. He would be so much better without me. I am literally contributing NOTHING to the house, NOTHING to his life. Im just a disgusting leech sucking him dry. I am worthless. I am nothing.
  2. white

    white Well-Known Member

    Its OK, what do you do? where do you live? And you are not the only person going through the same problem. Im sure you have 15-20 million having the same thought appearing and reappearing through their head. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
  3. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    Urges aren't too serious. You just need some patience becuase they always pass. Is DH short for dad? Anyway, if your only measure of worth to the other person is a pay check to keep up with rent, your living in an unhealthy relationship. Once you get back on your feet financially you should consider finding some roomates and moving out. Good Luck.

    ~Bono, the uppity Canadian with a floppy head and beady little eyes
  4. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    it's not you i'm sure. our economy sucks right now. it's hard to find work for anyone. hell, when i was waiting for my job to say i could come back i started looking for other jobs. it seem like i applied everywhere and still no response. just please don't give up. i know it would be so much easier to do that right now, but just hang on and don't give up. keep trying. my daughter who has never had a job before finally got one herself. so good things can happen, but you need to wait and keep trying. straight up your DH is just going to have to be patient and wait too. he'll just have to like it and smile while he's liking it. sometimes things just take time, and i know we find it hard to wait it out sometimes but things will work out when you keep trying.

    anyways, i've carried on enough here. please hang on and don't give up. good things will happen. please take care and stay safe too.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey FG,
    Don't let your job search hold you down. We are in a recession and jobs are hard to find right now.Have you followed thru with any of your applications. Employers stop and take a second look at those who are a little persistant. It shows them that you are serious and not just looking for a paycheck. I was in management for 10 years, and I would sit in on some interviews.
    As far as your boyfriend goes, he would probably be less cranky if you were up during the day night a night owl. You need to be on the same schedule as him. You know my neice found her self unemployed here a while back. Instead of sitting idle she went down and got a occupational license to clean peoples homes. She had a magnetic sign made advertiseing her buisness and she did that for a while until one of her applications came thru. Just a thought it would help money wise and it would probably help your boyfriends attitude. Good Luck!!!
  6. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Alot of homes are in foreclosure and many find themselves unable to find jobs or being laid off....

    Sounds like your husband needs to grow up and accept the reality. Doesn't help the situation when he is making you feel bad.

    What kind of work did you do before?

    healthcare industry is always hiring........

    I have a friend who's son has autism and in order for them to pay for his medical costs, now that she can only work "on call" she is renting out a couple of rooms, having garage sales and just set up a small ebay business with low overhead costs which is perfect for her.
  7. faeriegirl

    faeriegirl Active Member

    yeah, I know the economy sucks right now. Doesnt help much that I also have severe depression that is creeping in right now. And I have no money to afford my meds OR to see my psychiatrist either. Whatever. This sucks
  8. Dead Alive

    Dead Alive Active Member

    Be thankful you got a roof over your head and a family that loves you. I have a family member that will be homeless in a matter of weeks and has a brain anurism and cant even walk well due to a stroke. That person is my ex-wife and I cant help her because I am disabled too.

    She tried to kill herself this morning and failed. She messed her neck up real bad from trying to hang herself. Personally... I would do the same.. I would end it all if I were in her shoes

    You may lose your house but maybe you can sell it instead and move into an apartment? You still got people that love and care about you... count your blessings and be glad you still have a place to live and food to eat. As for that bf of yours... he is an ass.
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