Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by BleedingTears, Dec 24, 2006.

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  1. For the last year i've thought myself useless and found myself thinking about suicide and such. After losing many of my friends that i can't live without. I'm going to fight to stop myself... I'm not going to go back to being an airy fairy like person but myself. I should be less miserable, angry and such. Worst of all i have to go through this without my two best friends. They both hate me because i've become this sad depressing ungrateful thing. I'd do anything to get them back, so now i'm going to try. If i fail, I'll just have to try, try and try again...

    Wish me luck...
  2. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Hey there BT sound's like you're really making a go of thing's and it's not your fault that you've become sad and depressed.I mean if you could've stopped feeling like that you would've done ages ago,but the mere fact that you're here and saying what you just said show's brut strength and absolute class in my book keep it up it's so inspiring to hear you say that and I live in Oz also by the way.
  3. Thanks, Too bad my friends don't think anything of it... Apparently they think i can't go on being who i am... So i'm changing again for them... for like the 6th time... but i'm still willing to try... Inside i really don't want to go through it all again but i know if i want to get my friends back... I need to try...
  4. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    BT the simple fact is that your friend's don't know how you're feeling sadly so it make's thing's so hard and they don't realise that you're trying your best.On the surface you may seem so sprightly and capable to do anything,but I do understand it is hard and you're trying so hard it would be nice if your friend's could understand more but sadly we can't force this upon people and somehow make them feel what we're as much at times we just wish they knew to feel and see the pain we're in.
  5. I'll be lucky if i have any friends by the end of this... See it's times like these i break down and lose all sensibility... I used to think it was only me blaming myself for my mothers death which was making me momentarily sad... But without proof no one will believe me... I'm fearful of seeking doctors help, and i don't want my parents to know, they already found out from the school guidance officer that i used to slit my wrists and think of suicide they don't need this weighing on their shoulders too...

    Unfortunately i don't know how i'll be able to change without my friends to support me, I'll probably only end up with one or two if i'm lucky. But i have to face this, friends or no. My mother wouldn't want me blaming myself for her death, I could have done nothing to help her. Unfortunately i can't believe that. I won't let myself believe that! I can't. Can i ?
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    No way you've done nothing to cause your mother's death I mean that,It's the guilt that comes with depression that makes you feel in some way you have failed her.But let me re-assure you that you haven't by all means,also how about your friend's showing you more support that would be nice instead of you alway's having to break your back to please them.
  7. I know, they never accept me for me, yet i accept it when it's them doing something... I can't take it anymore... Sometimes i just want to leave it all behind, pack up and leave... But i can't...
  8. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Yes BT I understand that feeling all too well and you aren't alone there,about your friends sadly they don't understand the horrible feeling you have inside of you and that's very sad.I do know what it's like when one doesn't understand or feel your pain,only if they knew hey?If you had a patch around your eye or your arm broken you'd obviously be receiving a different type of sympathy it's very sad I know.
    Friend's should accept you for you otherwise they aren't worth it as simple as that,the one's who judge are the sorry one's in my book.No Race,Creed or Colour deserves to be brought down because some of the minority are bad apple's for some reason.You deserve to be supported that's what true friend's are and when they can be counted upon 24/7 and 7 day's a week is how I see it and say it.
    I understand that it is difficult for people to feel what depression is about and like especially if they have never been through it or suffer from it,but some sought of compassion I always believe is a great support.
    If you ever need to talk let me know anytime of the day or bight no prob's matey.
  9. Thanks, I'm about close enough to say to all of them "I don't care if you hate me for something but if you want to be a true friend then come find me". They claim i'm not depressed and similar but they don't know. I hide how i feel all the time. At school, on weekends, even on the net sometimes. all they ever do is bitch about me or to me about how fake i am. But how i can be faking being this fucked up is beyond me.
    Thanks for your support Ace.
  10. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    BT I'm alway's here for you listen to one thing especially if your friend's or could call them so called friend's are making you feel worse i strongly suggest steer away from them.It may be hard in a way but believe me you'll become far better for this,talk to the people who understand you.These are people who aren't feeling what you're so they're ignorant and naieve toward's thing's and it feels very frustrating and upsetting I certainly understand.
    If they were to be feeling what you were all of a sudden,they'd be saying oh my god that's true I know this depression really hurts so badly and so on but until then sadly these will be the people's opinions.Try your best to hold tight and ditch the people who don't respect you even though you think you may need them,obviously they're hurting and causing you distress.I don't want to tell you what to do that's not fair for me to do that to you,I certainly hope you're feeling somewhat better and don't lose faith in yourself.:smile:
  11. bombeni

    bombeni Guest

    The thing I recently learned the hard way is just what you said ace. DON'T talk to people whom you know may reject you or make you feel bad. Better to not talk to anyone at all I think. Take comfort where you can. I have ignored my cat basically for a long time. But part of my new year resolution is to take comfort ANYWHERE I can find it. My cat just melts if I simply touch him with my hand, and right there has been this accepting nonjudging creature all this time who only wants to love me (and eat alot). And I have ignored it. Ace you are special. Just wanted to say that. :smile:
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2007
  12. Thanks guys...
    I guess i should stick to few people who understand how i feel. But here isn't where i want to be. I want to be as far away from my so called friends as possible. But i can't just run away from what i promised myself i would try to do. I've got to stick it out and finish the job. I've got to stop being depressed over things i can and never could control...

    Thanks guys, You've helped me a lot and i really appreciate it
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