The urges are back. I cant get in to see my therapist. I dont know what to do. Its consuming my every thought. Im trying to use skills. Its just not working. Ive been doing good for a long time a few months. Im putting on a happy face and not reaching out, I cant reach out everyone hates talking to me when im like this. They dont know what to do or how to help me. I know the trigger that put me in this mode. I cant fix it, its wasnt my fault.