Fighting

Every day is a fight. I keep on trying to win the battle called life, but seems like I can't. I want to be there for my friends and I want to make fun with them, because I know that's what they want. I'd do anything to please my friends, to make them happy.
But I can't. It's like I'm losing myself. I can't take this anymore.

They have been so sweet to me, always there, every day again they just sit with me, comfort me when I'm crying, singing me to sleep, like a little child. And I want to return it so badly, I want to be there for them so badly, because I love them so much, but I can't. It's like I'm unable to do anything good anymore.

I just want to die. This is not something I thought of overnight. No, in fact I've been thinking about this for quite some months now and the last weeks I'm thinking about it more and more.

Why do people have to care? I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want them to let me go. Let me find my peace, as it was meant to be.

 

It's ok to need, we are all in need at various times in our life and it's important to accept help given to pull us out of the holes we so often find ourselves in. I'm sure your friends care for you a great deal and would want nothing more for you to be happy but it isn't an obligation on your part, it's something that with a little love, time and professional help things can improve to the point where you start tio give back to others because of what you received, which is a true miracle in life.