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Filling an empty life: here's how.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BigBrother, Apr 19, 2008.

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  1. BigBrother

    BigBrother New Member

    I became a member here not even an hour ago to find some advice about what I can do for my sister (whom I found with a knife twice tonight). After glancing at a couple of other posts, I thought I might be able to help (I hope).

    I am moderately successful with my life so far (I am 29), and each day is getting better. I am looking forward to being wealthy, happy, and constantly improving every day. I didn't get here by luck, nor was it easy. I've also had bad stuff happen (and plenty of it), but I dealt with it and I grew from it.

    From the few posts I saw, people here seem to be "hanging on", perhaps based on the idea that it will get better, but are currently leading an empty life. I'm here to tell every single one of you that you have the power to control your lives and bend destiny to your will. I've done it myself.

    If you think that your life is empty and has no purpose, you are wrong. Having an empty life is a PHENOMENAL OPPORTUNITY! You have the rare gift to start from scratch and do anything! If you don't know where to start, start with something the complete opposite of what you'd normally do. If you are looking for something interesting to get passionate about, try horse riding if you've never had a pet. If you've never been on a boat, go learn how to sail. You will eventually find things you like, and from those, there will be things you will love. You'll meet new people, and you can fill your life with amazing happiness. Start by doing ANYTHING! Change often, and keep trying new stuff.

    Design your life from scratch: make a one year plan right now
    - Divide your life into a few areas: health, finances, hobbies, work, family
    - List one thing you'd like to achieve in each of those areas this year (eg: in hobbies, I want to learn how to do oil painting).
    - Break each goal down into sub-goals (eg: for my goal, I need to learn how to draw a basic scene I want to paint)
    - Break each sub-goal into a list of tasks: for mine, I need to practice some sketching, learn how painters sketch out scenes, and buy some art supplies)
    - Take these task lists and schedule them on a calendar (I do it on my phone). Each day, I get something done towards my goals.
    - Review goals each few months. You might want to add goals or delete them.

    Life can be amazing. Every single person can have an amazing life. Yes, even you. You might feel there is every reason you can't, but you can. Do not give away your existence and the potential decades of joy you have left because of what has happened in the past. You can survive this. You can be the master of your own life, and make the troubles of the past worth it.

    Now, here's the important part: start right now. Don't even finish reading this post. Get a piece of paper and write on it "Make one year plan" and pin it up on your bedroom wall so you see it when you wake up. You now have something to look forward to tomorrow... You are designing a whole new life! You can look forward to days where you can't wait to get out of bed and be living the dream lifestyle you want. It can be anywhere, doing anything! You can start a baboon hospital in the Ugandan jungle, for all we know! You have no limits at all! Make sure you have something to look forward to each day.

    Finally, watch this video. It's a lecture from a guy (university professor) who's dying... not by choice, but from cancer. He is leaving behind his family, friends and many people who love him. He has taken precious last moments from the short time he has left to record a lecture on Oprah which might remind us why we should be living, and how to do it. It put a few things into perspective for me, and I hope it does for you too.


    Now, make sure you put up that piece of paper on your wall!


    P.S.: I know it's not the best post (written at 3am while ensuring my sister doesn't do anymore stupid stuff tonight), but hopefully someone finds it helpful!
  2. weegee

    weegee Active Member

    thanks for that. iv done something similer but not as ecsessive as that :). i would agree with it fully though as if you do follow his guide you will find two things.

    1) something to live for(you would be suprised that achiving something no matter how samll can imporve your self confidence)
    2) somthing to ocupie your time with(if you send all your time by yourself you will only think about the bad stuff, if you keep active and your mind busy you will soon forget about some thigs and it will be a hell of a lot easier to work through other things.)

    anything can happen in life and just beacuse you ahve had a bad one so far it dsoent mean it will be all bad.
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi bigbrother,

    great post. the only thing i'd add would be that for some of us, we need to add mental health recovery to the goals, -- when i was at my most depressed (and suicidal) i was physically exhausted. i could barely walk for 5 minutes out of the house because the negative thinking that comes with depression had sucked every last ounce of energy from me. go sailing? start oil painting? i could barely stay awake. and believe me, before depression hit i was an overachieving new yorker with a mountain of energy, many friends, and tons of hobbies.

    recovery from depression (or other mental illness) can be a full time job for some of us, with its own set of goals and milestones: meds, exercise, activity scheduling, counselling or therapy, educating myself about mental illness, relaxation exercises. as things work i write them on the 'this worked' list, when i have setbacks i try to see what happened and stop myself from sliding further down.

    i guess i'm saying that without some mental health work, goal setting, as you describe it, may seem impossible. it's not...

    i loved your post, and i hope your sister starts to feel better soon.
  4. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Wow. When I read your post, I thought to myself, 'okay, what ya selling?' But I checked out your video, and it all made sense. I particularly like "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."

    While I've never done the stuff this professor achieved, it gives me strength to do the things I fear.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I hope some people will at least try some of the things you suggested. What have they got to lose? If it doesn't work for them, at least they have been proactive in trying to help themselves. That is an accomplishment in itself.
  6. Canti

    Canti Guest

    Havnt got time to read now but definatly saving this page (im at internet cafe :eek:)
  7. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for that I think it will help a few people.

    I think finding a goal to live for also helps, like "Live to be kind".

    I hope your sister gets better
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