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final straw

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i have no life

i work 25 hours a week, which i struggle to get through since my job is awful, and the customers i deal with are awful, and the people i work with talk about me behind my back, and don't respect me what-so-ever.

i currently am not studying. im 22 years old, stopped my course because i didnt like it and cannot seem to get into any course

i applied for over 100 jobs in the last month and recieved only 20 rejection emails, and no interview requests. even though i was searching for entry level positions that i am qualified for and have worked 7 years in retail, even though i am a position of authority in my job, i have gotten no response.

i have no friends, i spend my weekdays watching television, going to the gym, and then eating shitty food because im so bored and lonely, getting out of the house to eat is the highlight of my day.

my parents dont understand me at all they never have, and my friends NEVER attempt tto contact me. its me contacting, organizing and making the effort to socialize. im tired, as it makes me believe i dont have any friends at all.

i think im maybe a few days, maybe a few weeks until i attempt suicide. i hate life so much i cant handle it any further than what it is. the suicidal thoughts are creeping up so much, and theres nothing in my life keeping me alive anymore. i have a diary that is unnecessary as theres nothing to plan. ive got nothing going for me. i hate it and wish it would end


Staff Alumni
Hi Nikos, and so sorry things are so rough...even though you hate your job, you still go and work so hard...that is a very commendable trait...I hope you stay and see that there are ppl who relate to what you have said and are there to support you...J
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