Hi. Thank you for providing this forum, and I'm writing today in the hope that someone might be able to advise me regarding my next step. I'll not burden your forum with my problems, but instead try and keep to the point. I'm in my 40's, and for as long as I can remember, I've needed help, but have never asked for it. I eventually built the courage up to talk to my doctor a few years ago, and was basically told to toughen up and not talk daft. Recently, I decided to ask for help again, and this time I demanded that he took me seriously. So, I was referred to a Psychological Therapy service, who gladly added me to their waiting list. Months past, and still nothing. Meanwhile, my life has been self destructing, and there is little I can do. I went to a different doctor yesterday, and he put me in touch with a 'crisis ' team at the local hospital. We chatted for about an hour and I'll admit for the first time I felt I was finally in a place that wanted to help. The disappointing thing is that they now want to feed me with antidepressants, and the earliest a Psychological expert can see me will be 12 months. A Psychiatrist has been booked for a weeks time, who I think is going to decide which drugs to give me, and I'm concerned about taking more drugs than I already am. The lady who spoke to me offered to come and see me at my home, which I gratefully accepted, but still, I'm left with the situation of the long waiting list before anyone will begiun to try and get to the root of the problem. My depression is a bi-product of many other factors during my life, so I'm not too excited about antidepressants. I had a series of back operations, and already take quite a few tablets each day to disguise the pain of sciatica. Is there somewhere I can go to where I can actually delve into my past, discover the reasons for my pain, and address it, without waiting on a never ending list? I've attempted to take my own life in the past, and currently go through the same feelings on average twice per week when at a low spell. I'm not a coward, and my problem is not one of guilt, but psychological. I'm a very strong person mentally, and physically, but I can't fight this fight anymore. The chances of me being able to deal with my demons for another 12 months are very slim indeed. Until I spoke to the lady, I'd have given myself a matter of hours. Any advice would be helpful. I have to see my own doctor again this morning. I'll pop in later to see if anyone has replied, but regardless of help, I hope each of you find happiness in your lives once more. Thanks in advance for any help.