Finally Free

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by daegon, Oct 14, 2014.

  1. daegon

    daegon Member

    I think I may have kicked it. I think I'm finally over it - or at least I hope I am. There are a few things I'd like to make mention of though:

    For one, if you're suffering, just know that I'm here for the same reason you are. I understand it's not a simple "you'll be fine" or "you just need to get over it." Depression is like a drug almost. And it's not in the sense of needing that shitty feeling - no, but it changes who you are normally and it affects how you interact with things throughout the world. Your mood changes and people notice you're not your usual self. I get it. I've been there. I've tried lynching myself through methods of X, Y, Z and then some. I made it my sole mission to die.

    I'm not going to bore everyone with all the details of my can find those lurking somewhere amongst the forums. But in short, I had my heart crushed by the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm literally experiencing this "free" feeling for the first time in months. And to top it all off, I finally checked a calendar (I had problems keeping up with time) - it's October. It's been half a year since she left - felt like years.

    You know how some people will tell you that not all good things last forever? Well the same goes for the bad things. Each day felt like Hell, and I never thought I'd escape my own mental prison. No meds, only one session of therapy...yet here I am. That being said, I had some help here and there. One of our own members, aao, came and PM'd me a few days back..and even though I wanted to die SO badly, something was pulling me away - as if it were saying "no, don't die..not yet."

    So if you're feeling like absolute shit, just know that if I can pull through, you can too. If you're alone, I will listen. Don't be afraid to PM me, or any other member - this is a site based off of community. And if you think you're ready to end it....well..if you posted here, you still want to live, deep down. I know it hurts. I know that feeling in your chest that makes you want to scream and kick and cry until you pass out. But I know you want to live - because everyone has something worth fighting for.
  2. CNikki

    CNikki Member

    Thank you for the positive post. Glad things are working out for you. I agree, if we reach out then to some extent we deep down want to live and are crying for help. Many people are so hurt and want their pain to go away, otherwise we wouldn't feel like we want to die in the first place.

    Take care.
  3. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    Great post! Happy for you!