finally got my hiv and hep c results

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AsphyxiateOnMisery, Nov 5, 2013.

  1. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Well, first of all, my doctor's office has been making it extremely difficult for me to receive my results for the past month. I've called quite a few times about them and asked whether I can just come and pick them up because I absolutely need to know my HIV and Hep C results being that my husband has just recently found out he has both, and I've been trying to get them for weeks ever since I found this out, and they refused to give me a straight answer. All they would try to do is set me up an appointment, which I did resort to doing eventually but then couldn't show up because I ended up having to see another doctor that day to get my Suboxone out and I couldn't miss that or I'd be completely screwed. Then finally after all that bullshit and drama, I decided screw it, I'm just going to go down there today and ask for them, and when I did, she was just like "Oh okay, sure. Here you go." Like REALLY?!! You couldn't just freaking tell me that over the phone the past 5 or so times? So yeah, that pissed me off quite a bit.

    But anyway, results-wise it seems that I do have high levels of Hep C, which honestly is not the least bit shocking to me. Actually for all I know, I could have gotten that way before I even met my husband due to my own IV heroin use and being in a relationship with another IV heroin user. And as for the HIV test, that actually was quite shocking to me, because apparently I don't have it. I've been having unprotected sex with my husband for over a year (and he's had HIV since 2010 apparently), and we've used each other's needles quite a few times that I remember when we used to get high, and after ALL OF THAT, it still came out negative. So, how about them apples? I did not expect that in the least. So, I guess that's good though...not that I would have cared really at this point if I did have it. Actually, as insane as this may sound I think part of me would rather I did have it because if anything ever happens to my husband it's not like I'd want to stick around anyway. But nothing should happen though because his isn't that bad yet and he's started treatment for it so he should be fine, and on the other hand even if I don't have HIV yet doesn't mean I won't get it in the future since we're obviously still having sex. So, it's alright I guess. And hell, we'll both be collecting benefits now from the government because both diseases are considered fatal so there's the bright side to all this that I see :)

    And one last thing...yes, this is what happens when you use IV drugs. So those of you who may be thinking of going that route will end up with at least one of the two eventually. And take it from me, it doesn't make your pain go away.
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear about the hep C result hopefully you don't have it but, there's a lot of good treatment out there for it. But also glad to hear you do not have HIV but don't be so blaise about whether you get it or not. I'm an HIV sufferer myself and whilst I am still able to do most things, it does have its restrictions. I know the treatment is good these days but it does come with its own risks such as a higher risk of getting heart disease, diabetes and certain types of cancers from the medications you need to take. I'm already suffering with my kidneys because of this disease BEFORE medication so I'm dreading what they will look like when I need meds. Take this as one of those times in your life where you've had a lucky escape and look at how you can make positive changes to your life, don't have that attitude where "oh I escaped it once I don't give a fuck" because one day it will come to bite you on the ass. Death by hiv and hep c take years and is also very unpleasant when it gets to the final stages so I would not suggest that either.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I totally agree with what butterfly just said please take precautions now
     
  4. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Well, my husband tells me that apparently they're going to come out with something really soon that's supposed to completely cure Hep C. Not sure how accurate that is, but that's what his doctors told him. How long have you had HIV? I know the final stages of both are very unpleasant but neither I or my husband are anywhere near those stages yet and like I said he's already getting treatment and I will be soon, too. The only symptoms that we both have as of right now is just that we both feel extremely sluggish and weak most of the time. So yeah, I know it has its restrictions, but nothing terrible as of yet and hopefully it stays that way. Although in my case I don't even know what exactly those symptoms are from. It could be Hep C, or it could be the fact that I'm anemic, or perhaps it's just mostly depression. But the main reasons I don't really care I guess is because I'm already in a relationship with someone I love and he has it, and I know I wouldn't care to live without him anyway, and also because I know I could get treatment before it gets bad and still live a decent life.
     
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I think I've had it approximately a little over 2 years. I got very sick in the first stages, got meningitis with a secondary bacterial infection and then suffered with glandular fever for over 9 months. I didn't find out I had HIV until the end stages of my glandular fever. It was a very unpleasant and traumatic time because of how ill I was physically. They initially thought I had lymphoma, I even had surgery but then I got the HIV diagnosis. I wasn't entirely devastated when I got my diagnosis because I knwe what to expect as my fiance has got it and went through it previously. But if I could turn the clocks back I'd change a lot of things if I knew what I knew now so neither of us would have to live with HIV. He's on medication for the rest of his life, I'm probably looking at medication in the near future. My kidneys are out of whack, my HIV has given me anaemia (resolved now but it made me unwell) and for the past few weeks been so tired I can hardly walk. And the only place I can talk about my struggles openly is here and a UK HIV charity forum where I can hide behind the computer. The stigma is horrendous and it's so hard to find excuses of why you feel so I'll, especially when you don't meet any of the usual stereotypes so people then get wild and whacky with their assumptions. That's the reality, even in the modern world.
     
  6. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I just recently started going to a new behavioral health outpatient clinic and they have this program where you can get a Certified Peer Specialist and you can contact that person whenever you need to and do certain things with them outside of the clinic if you feel like you need extra support. It could be for either drug dependency or other mental health issues as well. But I met this guy named Greg there who became my CPS, and the first time he talked to me about it, I was in the waiting room and he came over and sat next to me, and just started telling me how he used to use meth and coke and has been clean for many years now and diagnosed with HIV since 1985. And there were like at least 4 or 5 other people there who probably were hearing everything we were talking about, so yeah that kind of surprised me that that conversation wasn't more private, but I glimpsed around the room a couple of times and to my surprise nobody was really staring or giving us any kind of odd looks, so I was like okay screw it and I told him about my previous use of heroin and the fact that I could possibly have HIV and Hep C as well. I hadn't gotten my results at the time so I didn't know yet. But either way, contracting one of those diseases from IV drug use is a huge stigma and regardless I kind of felt like there was nothing to really be ashamed of with that. I mean I wouldn't go parading around the streets telling it to everybody, but I think if you start to get to know or connect with somebody new then there's no shame in saying it if it comes up. And if they do judge you, then they're an utter asshole and not worth talking to. So yeah, the stigmas attached to both are pretty terrible, but I'd like to think that over the years people have become a little bit more accepting and not AS judgmental as they used to be. Who knows, I could be wrong, though. From what I read about HIV, in the first month or few months of contracting it a lot of people get sick with the flu for a while, but wow it sounds like in your case it was a much worse experience. Why are you not on any medications for it yet? 2 years is a while. You should probably start to get some kind of treatment if you can.
     
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    My actual t cell count up to now is pretty good so there has been no need to start medication, but because of how tired I am now and the problems I've had my doc has discussed medication with me but wants to wait for my next CD4 count and viral load results to see if it's on a decline anyway. There'd be a lot of stigma and judgements if either me or my fiance disclosed our diagnosis, no one irl other than close family know and I am okay with that but they don't always understand how tired I feel sometimes and call me lazy when really I physically cannot do it.