Finally told my doctor

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#1
I saw my GP today and finally admitted how bad everything has been. The plans. The attempts. It was such a relief when she told me how unlikely it was that I'd be sectioned due to the fact that I was seeking help voluntarily.

She also suggested in not so many words that the doctor I saw years ago who threatened to section me may have been acting illegally. It's nice to think I may never have to go through that experience again. Being lied about and threatened with the police is both terrifying and humiliating.

I've been urgently referred to mental health. I have zero faith in them but maybe they'll surprise me. After working up the nerve to call NHS24 last night, the conversation with the cpn lasted all of 38 seconds.

I feel like it's probably a dead end road but it's the only one I have and so I'm resolutely putting one foot in front of the other with dogged determination.
 

Nick

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#3
Keep moving forward @VioletDawn. You're taking the right steps. Things don't always happen as fast as we want them to. It's good that you were able to be honest with your GP. I hope that mental health is able to support you. Please know that we are here to support you through all of this. The steps to get help are frightening and frustrating and worth it. I'm right here with you in the battle.
 

Woowoo

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#5
Well done @VioletDawn for being honest with your GP and for continuing to be strong. I know how hard that can be, but I also know that it is a relief when it's been done and you've been taken seriously. I hope the mental health team can help you. I think services in the UK vary greatly unfortunately. I was really lucky that in my area they seem to be quite well resourced and I thought they were brilliant, but I've heard others complain. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Hugs
 
#7
Thanks everyone. My previous experiences with the resource centre I've been referred to have been dire. I'm trying to prepare myself for disappointment. I don't mean that I'll go in expecting it to go wrong. I just don't want to get crushed when/if I get left with no help like the last gazillion times.

I honestly hate being proven right about this stuff but I expect that the only therapy I'll be offered will be CBT which is great for some people but not the right fit for me. I fear the answer will be CBT or nothing. Just like last time.

I'm sorry if that sounds horribly negative but I just have so many fears over this and really needed to put the jumble of thoughts into words.
 
#9
It's been several years but the last time I was attending the centre they only offered CBT. I did ask for a different kind of therapy on many occasions but it was all down to lack of funding. All I can do is hope that things have changed since I've been there last. If not, I'll be back to square one.
 

LonelyHiker

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#10
Best of luck to you @VioletDawn - I hope they can help you!

I've given up on psychology/psychiatry.
$$Healthcare$$ in the states is a draconian exercise in profiteering at the expense of the ill and suffering..
 
#11
Now I'm freaking out after a bad experience calling a "helpline" last night.

I was having a bad night and called a helpline that's supposed to have trained professionals to help with this sort of stuff. I mentioned about a recent attempt and got the reply "well why haven't you done it tonight?". Am I the only one that thought that was completely out of order? I was already in a very bad head space without feeling like someone is telling me to go kill myself.

I wish people thought for 2 seconds about the effect words have on others. I'm still very upset about it today. The thing is.. this particular helpline is staffed by people working in mental health and social work roles. This isn't random volunteers and it reminds me what mental health workers are like here. I'm absolutely positive that there are truly wonderful individuals working in the mental health profession that make hugely positive differences to people's lives but it's like the freaking dark ages here!

My past experiences of the mental health resource centre that I've been referred to is that it's full of petty egomaniacs on power trips that close ranks if you don't treat them like God. This is the whole reason I walked away from NHS mental health in the first place. Needing help and knowing that the "help" will probably do more harm than good is an awful prospect.
 

Woowoo

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#12
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with the helpline. What she said to you was very badly phrased. I'm sure what she meant was what was worse then that made you attempt before, if that makes sense (i.e. she was trying to find something positive about now- a reason why you hadn't tried last night) but you're right, it came across like she was encouraging you, which is not what you need. Hugs
 

Lara_C

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#13
I honestly hate being proven right about this stuff but I expect that the only therapy I'll be offered will be CBT which is great for some people but not the right fit for me. I fear the answer will be CBT or nothing. Just like last time.
As far as I know, CBT is the only therapy offered by the NHS, and there's a long waiting list for one to one sessions (although online therapy is also available). You could contact NHS PALS (Patient Advisory and Liason Service) to find out what services are available in your area https://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/1082.aspx?CategoryID=68
 
#14
It really angers me that they offer one single type therapy regardless of the fact it doesn't work for everyone. I was worried this was the case (as it was in the past) so basically I'm up a certain creek without a paddle! I was trying to hold onto the hope that maybe things had changed, but nothing ever changes with those people. The service is so unfit for purpose it's not funny. I knew this was what would happen. I got no place to turn anymore. I can't keep pushing for help that doesn't exist. I'm done.
 

Woowoo

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#15
@VioletDawn please don't give up until you've spoken to them to see what they can offer. CBT is the preferred therapy on the NHS, but it's not the only option. There are alternatives available (although whether they're made available in every area I don't know) and it will depend on what your diagnosis is and how severe it is. Have a look at the information in this link:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/types-of-therapy/

In my area there is a good service with plenty of options available. I've been to a support group/ educational group for dealing with depression, I've had online and 1:1 CBT and I've attended a course in mindfulness techniques for coping with anxiety and depression. I found the mindfulness the most useful, but that's just what worked for me.

Sending big hugs. Stay safe.
 

Woowoo

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#17
I second mindfulness practice. Not easy in the least, but it has kept me from losing it on more than one occasion.
You're right, it isn't easy, but it has brought me some peace, when I didn't think that would be possible. I think it's also reminded me how wonderful nature is. When I was a little girl my nan used to take me out on nature walks which I loved, but as I got older other things took precedence, school work, boys, university, my job etc etc. I stopped appreciating the world around me and mindfulness has given me that back. I've gone back to those childhood days and I now get real pleasure from listening to the birds, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face, watching the trees sway in the breeze or the fish swim in the river. My nan would be so pleased if she were still here :)
 
#18
Sorry for the giant space at the end of my post. I was getting on the train and palm posted. Everything feels like like the wheels are in motion now. Inevitable. Why am I torturing myself day after day? For what?
 

Sassy Cat

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#19
For hope because things can get better hugs. We need to try and never give up hope it may be hard but moving forward is sometimes the best we can do try and take everything in the moment. Hugs just keep remembering we are here for you.
 

Lara_C

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#20
It really angers me that they offer one single type therapy regardless of the fact it doesn't work for everyone. I was worried this was the case (as it was in the past) so basically I'm up a certain creek without a paddle! I was trying to hold onto the hope that maybe things had changed, but nothing ever changes with those people. The service is so unfit for purpose it's not funny. I knew this was what would happen. I got no place to turn anymore. I can't keep pushing for help that doesn't exist. I'm done.
Check out the PALS link in my last post which will give you a number to call to find out what mental health services are available in your particular area. NHS services are patchy, but you might live in an area where they are better. Free or low cost therapy is also available outside the NHS in some places: Free Psychotherapy UK
 
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