Financially devestated, lonely, ready to die

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Jacob1973, Oct 20, 2009.

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  1. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    I am just so ready to end it all. Ive been struggling for a long time, and even went to counciling, and am on antidepressants. Financially speaking, Im completely broke. I cant pay next months mortgage, and the guy I got into my house to pay the rent is a deadbeat and wont pay. So, i gotta get him evicted. I am also getting close again to loosing my job. God i hate furloughs! I have been traveling around the country for over a year trying to work, and I have just about had enough. I am so lonely, and have no friends nor family near me. I have that urge to kill myself almost all the time, and its been like fighting a 1000lb gorrilla. Im tired of fighting.

    The meds make me like a zombie. I know I should be able to cry, but I cant anymore. I am depressed and tired all the time. I just want it to end.
     
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    You don't have to hang onto the mortgage. You can let it go. It's not worth your life. Can you stay with family for awhile? It's gonna take some time for the economy to recover and we all have to ride it out.

    Post here all you need to. It is a good start in getting through it.

    :hug:
     
  3. Pilko

    Pilko Active Member

    I know how you feel . I am financially devastated too. It is not the only means to my depression but it certainly reinforces the need I have to end it all once another bill rolls in that I can't pay. I have to make it a simple thing to manage and I'm not there yet. I need to sort things out, but I know I can't while I'm not looking after myself.

    I am on medication too although as it has only been 2 weeks I'm not sure that it's giving me what I need. You may want to go back to your doctor and talk to him about what it is not/doing to you.

    I am glad you are on SF.
     
  4. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    Its probably the only reason why I havnt killed myself. SF has helped me to seek help a few months ago. But I am just not convinced that I have any future. I am just tired of it all. The failures, the lack of hope, the pain of lonelyness.
     
  5. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    It takes time to work through feeling like this. I try to keep my life simple to keep the stress down so I can find some enjoyment in life.

    :hug:
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :eek:hmy: Jacob!! You were doing so well a few weeks ago!

    What happened to all the help you were getting?

    Don't leave us, you've come too far to give up! Keep us updated hun, and you know where I am if you need me :)
     
  7. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    Maybe its the fact that I cant pay my bills. 4 weeks ago, i was still working. Then suddenly, they cut jobs again. I cant make my house payment. I am trying to talk with the bank, and I gotta get the idiots out of my house, but that may take a month now. I had to move another 450miles from family and friends, and I am all alone again. I got a roommate and that has helped with the lonelyness. At least he is someone I can sort of talk to about some stuff which sort of keeps my mind off of the crap in my life. But I am still about to loose my job again at this new location. I dont know what else to say. Yah, I was starting to feel better, but I am just overwhelmed. I just dont know what to do. I have few options in my work, and it seems to be no options in love. No matter how many drugs I am taking, it will never replace these facts in my life. The difference now is that I can no longer cry because of the drugs. Doesnt mean that I am not hurting deeply.
     
  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :hug: know exactly how this feels, have taken to shoving bills into draw and never answering the phone ...not the most sensible move!
    Having people so dependant on me doesnt help in fact makes me feel lonelier because I have to hide so much away from them :sad:
    Just know u are not alone infact there seems to be a small army of us gradually drowning in debt.
     
  9. raincloud

    raincloud Well-Known Member


    I hope you can make an arrangement with your bank. A lot of people are going into foreclosure right now, and many banks are willing to help prevent that (even though ultimately they just want your money). Are you already behind? One month isn't enough to ruin everything.

    I understand being overwhelmed. My life is in absolute ruins because of financial and health problems.
     
  10. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    I cant go into the details, but I am told today that I will have to go to court over my house. I am completely devestated and destroyed. This couldnt be any worse. All I need is to loose my job again, and it will be icing on this bitter cake. I hate people that take advantage of you and your time in need.
     
  11. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    My problems just went from devestated to OMG WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW?!! I was so ready to kill myself after hearing the news. Parents are trying to hire a lawyer to help me with someone who basically stole a large monetary thing from me. I am so depressed I couldnt sleep last night!
     
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