Find the "ray of light" in what I am going through.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by HomerSimpson, Feb 10, 2012.

  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    Do not even know where to start, but I have always lived with my grandma and for the last 5 years her health has gotten really bad. Basically that has been my job, and during that time I went back to school and got my degree, but of course I cannot find a job. So I decided to continue to go back to school for a health field degree, because there are plenty of jobs for it.

    This past week we had to put my granny in the hospital and the doctors are telling us that they do not think she is going to make it. The house we live in and always have is a family owned house, and she was going to put the house in my name so I could live here after she dies, but she never did and now her brother and sisters are telling me that if she does not get better that I must move out and find a place to live. I have sacrificed so much in my life, and the damage that taking care of her has done to me is more than I can put into words. It has caused my depression, caused me to lose so many friends, low self esteem, and self worth. But it was my responsibility to take care of her, because she raised me. It has always just been me and my mother doing the job, and now after everything I am being told to get out.

    Make this clear, I do not want the house, but I do not want to be thrown out on the street either. I wanted time to get on my feet. I have lived here forever it seems. I am 37 and it just seems my life is over. I finally had some hope with a job opening a couple weeks ago for the degree that I have, but I have called a couple of times and I still have not heard anything more so I guess it is time to give up on that one also. My mother has said I can move in with her, but she already has a full house and hers is small and she is also having financial problems.

    So come on lets here those positive words that some of you waste your time believing will come true. Here I am cannot find a decent job, and decent I mean more than min. wage because min. wage I still will not be able to afford rent, soon to be homeless, in a couple of weeks my savings will be gone. So broke, homeless, depressed, suicidal, and jobless. Oh BTW, did I mention the motor in my car blew up so I am having to use my mothers car, and also my financial aid for school was canceled because I already graduated with one degree. Like I told the school how is it my fault that I cannot find a job with the degree I have? They steered me toward a degree in IT with the words of "there are plenty of jobs out there for a IT job."

    So there you go people, now lets find the "ray of sunlight" in all of that. Oh, did I also mention I do not have a girlfriend, but of course who would waste there time with me. HAHA, I am laughing out of misery.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    How is grandmother doing hun is she getting any better in hospital under the care of professionals perhaps she will get stronger and she will make her wishes know who would go against that. I do hope you continue to call regarding that job better yet go down to the place and ask to talk to someone in human resources there I hope your family does what is right
  3. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    The doctors have told us there is nothing more they can do, and that they will let her come home so she can die in peace.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Is she not responsive can she not talk let her wishes be heard I hope you can be there with her hun hugs
  5. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I can somehwat understand.. I don't have any dieing family members but.. We really have no jobs out here either.. and by mid next month we (my friend and I) are moving out.. destination not totally know.. prob out of state because there is more jobs in better states and poss with some ppl I have connection with.. So I know some of the barely able to afford or no job thing.. It really is tough out there for many people right now..And my friend has been told way too many times she is over qualified for jobs.. And she has been looking for a very long time.. And I only recently had a temp job.. But I wont be making enough on my own..

    I wsh so many people weren't placed in such a harsh spot.. But unfortunetly it seems that way :( I hope somthing will work out for you.. sending my hugs (if you want them) :hug: