Finding a new therapist

[merlin123]

I've been thinking for some days that I may need a new therapist, and today I decided to try to find one

Here https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...herapist-if-i-still-can-call-him-that.150917/ you can read what happened with my last psychologist, if you're interested, you're not obliged to read it

Basically, I'm in a new city and I know 0 therapists. I went to four different therapists in the city I used to live, so I more or less controlled where to go, where not to go, etc. But this is a fresh new start and I have no idea what kind of counselor I will find

I'm still not 100% sure about going to a new therapist because of two reasons, 1, that I am too tired of telling the same story over and over again to later see that it's been useless, 2, that my parents are already wasting a lot of money so I can study and live in this city and I feel extremely bad that they have to waste even more. Plus, I don't want my father to know, and I tell my mother only because I can't afford it myself

20 years old and a fifth therapist already, I know I shouldn't feel a failure and that finding a good one is like the lottery but I can't avoid thinking I may be the problem...

Should I go to a new therapist? What should I even say to my parents so they send me more money? It'd be like 100-120 more € a month, it's a lot of money, but I don't know if I can keep up like this for much longer. And, is there a way to find a decent therapist instead of wasting 50-60€ in a session to only find out I don't like how they work / how they treat their patients?

 

[Kiwi2016]

I read your post and so sorry that your previous therapist did not respond to you as believe that could have been an opportunity for closure with him...but maybe as others said maybe he wasn't comfortable or sure how to respond.

I can understand how it is not easy to find a new one in the new city you are living in so I wondered does the college/university you are attending have counselors that you could perhaps reach out to to see if they offer their services on an ongoing basis or perhaps have suggestions as they may know of some therapists who offer discounted rates for students? I know that it is so hard to find the right fit for therapists and also having to start over and share your story etc only to discover they aren't a good fit. I'm not sure if this would work but wondered once you have some suggestions maybe see if they would be open to an "informational interview" with them (at no charge) and have a list of questions/thoughts to ask them to help see if they would be a good fit? It is unfortunate that therapy is so expensive as when working I saw mine every week but now that I am a student again hopefully for a second career (so not working) I go to mine every other week which though not easy has been working for me.

Sending you positive thoughts and also wish you all the best for your studies. Encourage you to keep posting as others here may have some additional ideas as well.

 

[merlin123]

does the college/university you are attending have counselors that you could perhaps reach out to to see if they offer their services on an ongoing basis or perhaps have suggestions as they may know of some therapists who offer discounted rates for students?

Well, ironically I study psychology so some of my professors are therapists. I think there is a place near my college that offers psychological support to students but I have some professors there so I don't know if I will like the idea of seeing them and telling them what is in my head

maybe see if they would be open to an "informational interview" with them (at no charge) and have a list of questions/thoughts to ask them to help see if they would be a good fi

I thought of this, I wish they allow me to do it. I remember one of them having a free first session but the other 3 didn't do it. I'll ask before going

 

[Rockclimbinggirl]

Are there any that offer fees on a sliding scale. If you explain that you cannot afford the full rate, some therapists might be willing to see you at a rate you can afford.

 

[Kiwi2016]

Hi, I can understand your reluctance about going to a therapist who might be or end up being a professor so maybe see which ones are not affiliated with the college/university as there might be some that aren't. And due to confidentiality you also shouldn't have to worry as life is stressful especially as a student. It can be quite helpful to have informational interviews or a free first session as can take some time and a few of these to find a good fit. Sending you positive thoughts for your search and encourage you to keep posting as you do matter and you aren't alone. Sending you hugs.

 

[Walker]

I was thinking about the free consult too but I see you've thought of that already.
I don't have anything great to add then so just sending you good thoughts for finding a solution.

 

[merlin123]

Are there any that offer fees on a sliding scale. If you explain that you cannot afford the full rate, some therapists might be willing to see you at a rate you can afford.

You mean for example instead of having a 1h session have a 30min so it is cheaper? I'd have to see if any psychologist in this city offers that. In the city I used to live some offered it to me so I hope they have the option here

If I have time tonight I'll check what therapists are in this city and try to gather info about them

I also have to tell my mother about it... wish me luck, she thinks that because I haven't been to the therapist in months I am "cured"

 

[sinking_ship]

You mean for example instead of having a 1h session have a 30min so it is cheaper? I'd have to see if any psychologist in this city offers that. In the city I used to live some offered it to me so I hope they have the option here

If I have time tonight I'll check what therapists are in this city and try to gather info about them

I also have to tell my mother about it... wish me luck, she thinks that because I haven't been to the therapist in months I am "cured"

A sliding scale means they have lower rates for people who can pay less, they should still give you the full 50 minutes.

Good luck finding someone, it’s hard but worth it.

 

[merlin123]

A sliding scale means they have lower rates for people who can pay less, they should still give you the full 50 minutes.

Good luck finding someone, it’s hard but worth it.

Oh... I think that doesn't happen here in my country... When I told the previous therapists that as a student I couldn't pay it and I needed my parents' money they only offered to have half a session

And thank you, I hope I am lucky

 

[Sunspots]

When I was looking for a therapist last year, I contacted them all via email in the first instance. This was so I could explain my situation and a brief outline of why I was seeking therapy. It meant I didn't waste the first session talking about why I was there plus I could guage a little if I would like them based on how they replied. If the returning email was friendly I put them on the maybe list and discarded the ones who replied too formally or just quoted their price list.

Many also gave the first session for free or at least a short phone call which helped me to decide which one to go with.

Is there a type of governing body for therapists where you are? In the UK we have the British Association of counsellors and Psychotherapists that have a list of all the therapists in the country who are members - their membership criteria is pretty high so you only get qualified and recommended therapists there. All the therapists have a page outlining what kind of therapy they offer, who to, prices and a little bit about themselves. You can search by area to find one within traveling distance. If you have something like that it would be a good place to start looking...

 

[merlin123]

When I was looking for a therapist last year, I contacted them all via email in the first instance

I think this is a great idea but I am a bit embarrassed about sending many emails. I think that I will get overwelmed by so many answers, I usually think that I should try with only one person at a time and if it doesn't work try another one. Of course, I end up losing money and time...

How did you feel emotionally about sending the same email to several therapists? Were you nervous? Scared? Or was it something casual?

Is there a type of governing body for therapists where you are?

Hm... I have no idea, I'll look it up tonight. There should be though

 

[Sunspots]

I only sent the email out to three or four at a time, waited for them all to reply and then sent some more out.

Yes, I was really nervous. But for me it was probably easier to be totally honest in writing than face to face. It broke the ice and made speaking to them face to face easier as they already knew some of my background.

 

[Rockclimbinggirl]

I hope you can find someone. Do you have friends or a GP that can suggest a therapist for you?

 

[may71]

During the time that you don't have a therapist, you might want to try getting a book on CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).

You might also want to try some other treatment methods. There's more about treatment methods in my signature links.

One important question is how much benefit you think you might get out of therapy compared to the investment in time and money. If you feel like therapy was really doing great things for you in the past, or could do great things in the future, then it's worth the effort to try to find a good therapist.

If not, your time and money might be better spent with other treatment methods.

I think you mentioned that free counseling was available at your school. If so, then that sounds like a pretty good deal and probably worth a try. Maybe there's a way to overcome barriers to getting therapy there?

 

[merlin123]

I hope you can find someone. Do you have friends or a GP that can suggest a therapist for you?

Sorry, what is a GP? About friends, well, I'm new in this city so the only close friend I have here is my boyfriend, but he knows no therapist, and I don't want to ask others because I don't have enough confidence with them to tell them

During the time that you don't have a therapist, you might want to try getting a book on CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).

You might also want to try some other treatment methods. There's more about treatment methods in my signature links.

One important question is how much benefit you think you might get out of therapy compared to the investment in time and money. If you feel like therapy was really doing great things for you in the past, or could do great things in the future, then it's worth the effort to try to find a good therapist.

If not, your time and money might be better spent with other treatment methods.

I think you mentioned that free counseling was available at your school. If so, then that sounds like a pretty good deal and probably worth a try. Maybe there's a way to overcome barriers to getting therapy there?

I think I may need a therapist because I am near a complete mental breakdown, I am still a bit hopeful that I may get the help I need from a professional. I would like to read a book about CBT but I don't have time for that, plus, I will get an overdose of psychology haha. I'm studying psychology in college and I have many things to read related to it. Plus, I think I prefer talking to someone about intimate things rather than reading a book, even if the book could help me. I guess I feel quite lonely and desperate

 

[may71]

Sorry, what is a GP?

GP stands for "General Practitioner". Another term is "Primary Care Physician". It's the doctor that you usually see, rather than a specialist.

 

[merlin123]

GP stands for "General Practitioner". Another term is "Primary Care Physician". It's the doctor that you usually see, rather than a specialist.

Oh... Here in my country... you have to be really lucky to get to a decent GP. The common practice is: you go, you say you're struggling, they say you're stressed, and they give you pills. The same pills to every person. It's free to go there but they know nothing and it is useless so in the end you need to pay for another doctor

 

[merlin123]

I have been trying to search therapists in my city, but there are many, and 0 of their websites are convincing... I easily feel triggered, I remember my previous therapists, how it was a failure, and how tired I am of telling the same thing to a new person

I am scared and I don't know if it'll be worth it...

 

[may71]

I have been trying to search therapists in my city, but there are many

Even if you don't want to see a therapist at your school, you still might want to ask if they could recommend someone to you.

I am scared and I don't know if it'll be worth it...

Hugs Merlin