I'm not exactly suicidal anymore after what happened to me a month ago or so... but I am depressed and the old thoughts crossed my mind. I was doing great for awhile. I met a girl who was amazing and her dad was a youth minister at their church. She told me I had to ask his permission to date her so I went to church a few times to get to know him and get ready to ask and when I was about to (after a week or so of getting to know him) she came around and told me that she never intended to "date" me and only wanted to be my friend. Well that hurt. I asked her for her phone number and she told me "I don't think your gonna get it." -- because her dad didn't like me. I tried to find God. I passionately wanted to FEEL him inside me and his presence... but I never felt it like she or others around her and me did. ... in addition, apparently I'm not good enough for her in her dad's eyes. What kind of Christian views is this? I don't drink or party or anything bad. The worse thing I do is not go to church enough, but that was apparently enough to condemn me. Plus she says she didn't lie to me but she TOLD me to ask him and that "persistence pays off" and all this jazz... but then acts like she never meant it that way. Well I'm depressed again but not so much suicidal. But I feel pretty down and I gotta say that I passionately want to "find God" and was wondering if anyone here has ever actually "felt" God... are those people who claim to have felt God in them just crazy and making that up or is it actually a feeling you can get?