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Finding it Hard

EmB

Absolute Peach!
#1
I'm finding COVID really hard. I'm gonna share a post I saw on social media that very much sums up a lot of it.

"Just saw on the news that ‘students are left sobbing because their partying has been disrupted because of the pandemic’. This is not the case and it frustrates me that this is on the news. Students are left sobbing because they are being forced to isolate in their 6ft by 8ft rooms. Students are living in their rooms, learning in their rooms, eating in their rooms and some are cooking in their rooms because of measures to protect the public. Sometimes with people they don’t even know, far away from home and for some the first time they have ever been away from their families. Students are doing their bit but yet are being portrayed as the perpetrators of this second wave. In reality it’s a small proportion of students not obeying rules just as it’s a small proportion of the rest of the country not obeying the rules, such as the MP seen not wearing a mask on the train."

Being locked in my home, which is looking very possible in the near future where I am, terrifies me. I didn't realise how much I needed to go out, keep myself busy, until I saw the difference it made in my mental health. I can be bad when I can keep a routine, keep control of my day, see people, go outside, but I'm awful when I can't do any of those.

My sister is a fresher this year. She already had a bit of a shock the first day, and called me upset because she was alone. She was terrified that her uni would do what Manchester Met would do - prevent students from leaving their halls AT ALL. I'm already not allowed to see her in her halls, and she needs that in person support, someone she can see face to face that she knows and is comforted by. Now she's terrified about being locked up in her room with a load of strangers, a couple of which do drugs and make a lot of noise which triggers her anxiety. There's no escape or back up plan for her. If I'm struggling with the idea with my boyfriend in my own house, I have no idea how she would cope. And it's looking more and more likely.

Some days I struggle to wear a mask. Whether it makes me anxious itself, or when I do get anxious, I can't breathe, I struggle, even though most of the time I'm fine. But people are being so cruel and harsh - if you don't stick with and are happy with the regulations, you're a "selfish shit bag" as I've been called - because I said I was struggling with my mental health.

I'm not against keeping safe. I don't want anyone to get ill. I understand the regulations and I'm not saying to get rid of them. But I'm really struggling with them too. Terrified I won't be able to see my sister. Terrified she won't be able to cope. Terrified of the hate ill get if I admit I'm really struggling with it. Terrified my mental health is going to spiral more and more. I'm just living in a constant state of anxiety. And uni is so hard online. I'm struggling to navigate and remember and keep up with things. I'm just really struggling.
 
#2
I hear what you're saying. I think the uni students are being blamed simply because they are high profile in the news. A lot of society are not doing their part. As for learning remotely I really feel for you guys. I don't know if I could do it!
Take good care.
 

EmB

Absolute Peach!
#3
I hear what you're saying. I think the uni students are being blamed simply because they are high profile in the news. A lot of society are not doing their part. As for learning remotely I really feel for you guys. I don't know if I could do it!
Take good care.
Thank you... it only seems a minority not following restrictions, lots of students are trying hard to follow them. But students are easy to blame. It's not fair - because there's no voice in government to defend us, and very few in the press. It feels like I'm trying so hard, and still I'm the one at fault.

Thank you for your sympathy, it really means a lot.

Sending hugs
 

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