I'm not going to go into great detail but I am finding it extremely tough to keep going and when suicide enters my mind it does give me great relief.I've put it off til now after so many close shaves but it does get so hard to keep fighting.It's so tough the Bi Polar mood swings,the OCD,The Bdd the anxiety and everything else with it.So much pain and pressure and it all feels so worthless i've been doing my best to also live for others but I can't continue going on with this wrtehced pain also feeling and to me being a burden on everyone else.So often I feel everyone is better off without me around and it would make their lives and the world a much better place.It just all gets so overwhelming seriously being so close like a million times it gets so tough to keep holding off and it feels like I could go anytime as hard as i'm trying.
Finding it very tough to keep going
- Thread starter ace
- Start date
- Status
Hi ace - pleased to meet you. I hope we can be friends. This is only my 3rd post on the site. Thinking it's a wonderful site - I wish it had been around 14 years ago. You are needed, and you are precious, as hard as that might be to believe in the down times. I could not believe it either, and am continuing to heal into it more and more, as THP has given me the conviction that Hope is not a lie. (The Higher Power).
Not that I know your circumstances of course, but I tried too hard myself and found I could not. Maybe you are trying too hard? Just a thought (and I hope has not caused offense). OK - so we don't get anywhere without trying, agreed.... but perhaps there is another way to try? Keep in touch, don't want to write too much too soon :semi-twins:
Not that I know your circumstances of course, but I tried too hard myself and found I could not. Maybe you are trying too hard? Just a thought (and I hope has not caused offense). OK - so we don't get anywhere without trying, agreed.... but perhaps there is another way to try? Keep in touch, don't want to write too much too soon :semi-twins:
Thank you everyone sure urprecious we can be friends I would really like that,it is very tough really having Bi Polar ,Major Depression,Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,Body Dysmorphic disorder and Anxiety and I have a fair bit of bad terrible physical pain also.Don't worry I'm never one to whine if anything I just hold everything in and don't usually say much about what i'm going through 
.It is a hard road as hell the strong suicidal thoughts give me such comfort I can't say the amount of times I've gone through it in my head about proceeding with it,I just hate feeliong like this really and can't help feeling I could go at anytime.I'm really sorry it's just shocking endles torture day after day:-(((((...
.It is a hard road as hell the strong suicidal thoughts give me such comfort I can't say the amount of times I've gone through it in my head about proceeding with it,I just hate feeliong like this really and can't help feeling I could go at anytime.I'm really sorry it's just shocking endles torture day after day:-(((((...
We carry a heavy load ace........ somedays I tell myself "I choose to forget the labelling I was given" and try my best to do what I know to get better thinking. I think that this forum would be a great place for practicing this - with no judgement ... I can remember when I found it hard to order my thoughts and wondered how I was going to get through the day. It can be the hardest thing. The thing that got me through first of all was knowing there was one friend who would walk with me no matter what, when everyone else did not have a clue, or the inclination - because she had experienced and walked through similar stuff to me, earlier....... she was able to gently help me up to the first rung of the ladder. As Einstein said: "No-one can really know anything, except by experience" - and I sure know too that there are many experiences we'd rather be without.
- Status