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Finding living to be anything but enjoyable...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sollesi, May 26, 2015.

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  1. Sollesi

    Sollesi New Member

    Nothing special. Nothing noteworthy. Nothing worth feeling like this over. I don't want to live anymore. I find no joy at all. I can't do anything I set my mind to. I seem to have mental retardation, though I wasn't diagnosed with it. I can't talk with people for no reason at all; I just get a wave of anxiety, embarrassment, shame, etc. I am unwilling to listen to any advice anyone gives me. I am a complete asshole to anyone I talk to; the ones I am able to talk to, that is. Jobless with no way of moving out any time soon....I can't even recall the last time it was I felt genuinely happy; it's just a false sense of happiness whenever I don't feel sad. I haven't contributed anything to this world, and I probably never will (though if I kill myself, my organic material could possibly help with something). What makes me feel even worse is that I have a great life with more than I would ever need (materialistically) and I think I am entitled to feel depressed and suicidal. Fucking pitiful. I already know nothing said here will help me, but I am bored. I just want to keep writing how I feel about myself across random message boards so I can guilt-trip people into feeling sorry for me....I really am a pathetic excuse of a human being....
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are a person with depression not a pathetic excuse for a human being just someone ill YOU have an illness and with the illness all life seems to be sucked away Treat you illness like you would treat any medical illness so you can pull yourself out of that dark hole you are in. You can feel happiness again but you have to want it bad enough to reach out for help if you cannot reach out for help for yourself get a family member or friend to help you
  3. Leolsrik

    Leolsrik Well-Known Member

    Eclipse is right. Being sabotaged by your own brain is no reason to give up on life. If you have the means to do so, go out and get therapy, treatment and whatever else is needed to get your life back on track. It's probably not going to be easy, but that's no excuse not to go for it when suicide is the alternative.
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