Finding out the truth knowing it will kill you inside

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by JKuhnz, Aug 6, 2016.

  1. JKuhnz

    JKuhnz Member

    So does anyone ever fight with themselves over whether or not they want to find out the truth to something? Knowing you could either confront it and find out a definitive answer but it may destroy you, or you could live in denial and overthinking.

    I'm going through that struggle today. Me and this girl have been talking and we've both developed feelings for each other. However recently she's been distant. We don't talk as much, she never wants to do anything, and she just no longer seems like she cares. Naturally it's my defense to try to get closer, but that just means every guy she talks to I see as taking my place. It's killing me, and it's been doing so for the past 3 days. So claims nothing has changed but her actions appear otherwise.

    Today I decided I want to talk with her, but I'm afraid of what her answer is going to be. That always starts the question of whether it's worth asking knowing it could crush you, or live every day worrying. Also begs the question what if I keep asking and nothing is wrong and she just gets sick of me.

    I decided to talk with her today because I can't take the worrying anymore. That doesn't make it any easier though. I still woke up today wishing I didn't have to leave my bed or talk to anyone.
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Confront it, whats the point in spending your time worrying about something that might not be what you assume it to be? Just talk to her, open the lines of communication. She might just be having a hard time herself and doesn't want to feel like she is burdening you with her problems.
  3. Chica

    Chica Member

    I agree. I read this yesterday: Nothing will work unless you do (Maya Angelou)
    What is worse than not knowing how things would be , what would have happened if....?
    Good luck!
    SinisterKid likes this.
  4. PeaceOfMind

    PeaceOfMind Member

    I feel like that too in my situation. But the thing is my significant other denies it. But she has a history of lying. But I try to give her the benefit of the doubt but her actions speak different.
  5. JKuhnz

    JKuhnz Member

    Well I messaged her saying I want to talk about us. She flipped out. The original reason I kept getting anxiety was because she posted a few pictures with this guy and talking about him so naturally I wanted to make sure I had nothing to worry about. Well it seems some of her and my friends took it a similar way and confronted her on it. Even though I knew nothing about it shes blocked me on both texting and facebook messenger so it appears we are done.
  6. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    I am sorry to hear that, that is probably the worse thing that could have happen , for other people to get involved.

    I'm here if you want to chat
  7. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Has most/all of this taken place online or via social media? We all need to be aware of the fact that, in real life, we see facial expressions, body position, hand signals when we talk to others and they all help us to consider the context of the conversation. Online, we get none of that and rely almost solely on the written word. It is very easy for misunderstandings to occur. Trying to have any kind of relationsship online is one of the hardest things to do and is often prone to fail. We all need to accept that as we deal with our online lives.
    PeaceOfMind likes this.
  8. WhoaThisPlaceIsScary

    WhoaThisPlaceIsScary Well-Known Member

    Time heals all wounds..don't dwell it will destroy you..move on.
  9. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    At least you now know the answer and can move foward from this. Sorry that it happened the way it did however its better now than finding out later on the longer you invested in the relationship.