Being a 15 year old male you'd think confusion is "normal". I never had a real father figure. MY dad used me and my family for control and money and turned out to be a homosexual. Instead of being a father to me he was my abusive "friend" that abused drugs and rejected me as his son (not even letting me label him as my dad in fear of his boyfriends hearing it). Emotional and psychical abuse drove me to hate and fear my dad more then anyone but I still was sad I never had someone to look up to. My mom constantly cries and tried to work but at her old age its hard for a single mother to take care of 4 children on welfare trying to finish school at 55. The only person that raised me was the tv. I have no lable, no path to follow, no place to go in life, and no clue who I am. Everything is so real all the sudden. I wish I could go back and sink into my old reality where everything happened for a reason and it would turn out good no matter what. So here I am, no friends, no identity, in my small speck in time, would it really hurt if I was dead?