Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sihuskyzoi, Jul 12, 2012.
But off now. I really think I'm crazy. I don't know what to do with that.
Hi there, what do you mean by you're feeling 'off', do you mean depressed, anxious ..or?
Do you see a therapist or psych?
I see neither. I felt okay this morning. As in... life was okay, I was okay, everything was okay. Then later... tired, depressed, thinking how easy it would be to just not be here anymore. I just feel like such a piece of shit. A lot of the time. My life just keeps dissolving. It feels like nothing will ever be okay again. Like I just can't win. And if you can't win, then why play? I feel like it never gets any better and when it is better, I shouldn't get too excited because it won't stay better. Like the universe is plotting against me and I'm not worth it at all. Ive always had battles with emotions, but this last year has been extreme. I used to think I was a good person, but what if I was wrong? Im damaged somehow. Can't seem to do anything right. Everybody can see through my mask and see who I really am. I just can't keep coming to this place in my head. It fucks up my life. I lose effectiveness at my jobs, in my relationships, everywhere. It's like constantly coming back to a place where I just lose ground all over again. I just can't keep being here. I can't keep feeling like this.
And I'm so fucking alone. You have no idea what I would give to just have somebody comfort me... listen to me... help me. Just once.