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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by XxXx, Mar 29, 2011.

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  1. XxXx

    XxXx New Member

    I came across this site probably about a month and a half ago for the same reason that most people find this site: suicidal thoughts. My girlfriend of 5 years left me and I'm pretty alone in a new city (at school) with no family or friends around. I've been devastated by the breakup. I thought I was going to marry her. All the other bad stuff in my life was bearable because I knew I could look forward to my life with her. I feel so lonely.

    Today a friend of mine from back home took his own life. Nobody knows why because he seemed so happy. It is a very sad day. I contacted his family to give my condolences.

    Even though I don't know why he did it, his action really made my problems seem less significant. Dealing with a suicide from the outside really gave me a different perspective. His Facebook wall is filling up with comments from friends and family. It all seems so surreal. The world is moving on without him. It just seems so...anticlimactic. Everyone is sad, but we will keep going. He just took from us some of the happiness that was his presence/friendship etc. This is really not what I want for me. I have my whole life ahead of me and to give up now would be such a waste. I have too much love in my heart to just let it die. I am still really sad and I expect to be really sad for a while, but now I feel like I have really been able to move past any thoughts of suicide.

    This kind of feels stupid to say on this site because everyone has their own unique situations and reasons for being suicidal, but PLEASE do not kill yourself. The world really is a better place with you in it.

    I wish I could say more to help people who felt the same way I did. I wish I could just give the world a big hug with tears streaming down my face. Now, I guess I'll just deal with my sadness on my own, and try to get through this really rough patch of my life. Someday I will look back and be so happy that I decided not to commit suicide because I would have missed out on so much love.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun i am sorry your friend did not reach out for help I hope you do i hope you get therapy to help you deal with all that sadness inside maybe get on meds I know how hard it is to lose someone to suicide and yes this world is better with YOU in it so i am glad you have decided to stay pm me anytime you want okay hugs
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sorry to read about your friend. what a tragedy.

    big hug right back at you!

    c
     
  4. ELLIEANDMONKEY

    ELLIEANDMONKEY Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. But why do you think the world is a better place with us in it.

    I don't. In fact I think this world might be a better place without me in it. It's almost so logical it's scary.
     
  5. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    this is a really good perspective, I think it may be one of the healthiest things that I've seen on this site

    hugs to you!

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
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