first attempt =[

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by TryingSoHard, Feb 16, 2008.

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  1. TryingSoHard

    TryingSoHard Member

    2 nights ago i tried to kill myself. It was a very half hearted attempt and it was so stupid. My flatmate found me and drove me to hospital. i was stitched up and i had a counsellor come and talk to me. i just said i dont remeber much because i was drunk because i had had a few drinks, but i knew exactly what i was doing. i dont even know if i had done it right anyway. now ive just got a very fucked up arm, a girlfriend thats beside herself with worry >.< and a flatmate thats afraid to even look at me. i made an excuse why i missed work but how can i hide it? grrr so stupid, i dont want to die, i just felt very messed up then. i wanted to die, it comes and goes. now ive got to hide from everyone until i can come up with a story to explain this. shameful =[
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry to read this, but glad you didn't succeed, even if you were only half-hearted. even if your suicidal feelings come and go it can help to get some extra support, from a counsellor or therapist. the feelings might return and it really helps to have someone.

    you flatmate will come around, are they also a friend? sometimes people don't know what to say or are worried that they might make things worse.

    i know what it's like to feel ashamed after an attempt, but thing is, our mental health is a fragile thing. many people get out of balance sometimes, for all sorts of reasons, and i read somewhere that most people will fight depression at some time in their lives.

    good luck,
    c
     
  3. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    :hug: talk to a counsellor and tell them why been going on and they help you out hun :hug:
     
  4. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    There's no shame in struggling through life, the shame would be to hide away from your friends, and those that love you.Don't let this one night ruin your life.
     
  5. TryingSoHard

    TryingSoHard Member

    Thanks, seeing a counsellor might be a good idea. i feel kind of strange ever since, i dont want to talk to my flatmate (who is also a friend really) if he doesnt feel comfortable. hes the closest thing i have to a friend though we dont really talk much anyway. i feel really bad about the whole thing, theres a dark cloud constantly above me. my family dont know and i hope i can keep it that way, work will be hard as i usually wear a t-shirt which i wont be able to now so people might ask questions. i dont know how i feel. im still a bit weak and shaky so i might feel a bit better when that goes away
     
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    just remember, you don't have to have the answers or have it all figured out to talk to your friend/flatmate. you could just say "um, about the other night, don't know why i did it.... i just felt really alone and ashamed....still do... can't really say much more" and then at least you've broken the ice.

    depending on how you feel, maybe ask if they can support you in what you might need right now, which could be researching how to find a counsellor, screening your calls, or a stiff drink! wait... isn't alcohol a depressant, maybe a good cuppa!

    C.
     
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