First Christmas?

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by *dilligaf*, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Any one have any ideas of how to survive to first christmas after a very close loss??

    Christmas day is 6 months since my nans funeral and i am dreading christmas so much :sad:
  2. GypsyGirl

    GypsyGirl Well-Known Member

    Last year was my first Christmas without dad... and I won't lie... it was hard. There was that 'hole' there that nothing could seem to fill.

    There were lots of tears... but you know what? We had our memories. We all talked for hours about him... past Christmas memories and how he would never want us to just sit around feeling sorry for ourselves...

    We told funny stories... like how he turned his all of his socks and underwear pink while trying to do laudry because mom was sick... how he actually blewup a hot dog (of all things) in the microwave one time because he put it in for waaaaaay too long.

    As the family cried and laughed, I swear I could see him in his favorite chair, smiling. Like he always did every Christmas, watching my sister and I pen our gifts when we were growing up and then seeing his grandbabies to the same. And I know he is with me, like Nan is with you.

    I am certain that she would want you to smile... to live. Keep her memory alive in the stories you have in your heart... in the photos you have. I won't say don't cry... I am crying right now just thinking about dad ... but I know that those who have gone on would never want us to just give up. They only truly continues to live through us. :hug: I am here for you if you need me, sam.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :hug: Kahlann

    :hug: Gypsy girl....

    I am spending christmas away from my family for the first time ever. i decided to spend it with my partner and her family instead.
    i dont think i could bear to spend it with my family this year wth all the memories etc.
  4. GypsyGirl

    GypsyGirl Well-Known Member

    You could light a candle in her memory... :smile:
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    thanks hun

    might do that

    dont laugh...but im gonna buy her a christmas card and a rose or something and leave it on her grave :smile:
  6. LittleSparkles13

    LittleSparkles13 Well-Known Member

    That is such a lovely gift to her.

    Hope this christmas won't be too hard for you.

  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni


    Thanks hun :hug:
  8. me1

    me1 Well-Known Member

    :hug: sam
  9. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I'm hanging my Dad's stocking up this year with all the others to let him know we still miss him :)
  10. GypsyGirl

    GypsyGirl Well-Known Member

    I'd never laugh, sam... my daddy got a fathers' day card a month after he died. :hug:
  11. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Grant - :hug:

    Anastasia - :hug: Sorry for your loss. It sounds like a nice idea to hang his stocking. And thank you. You reminded me that what I am feeling is normal :smile:

    GypsyGirl - :hug: Thanks hun
  12. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    :hug: sam. I firmly believe that our loved ones who we have lost are with us and celebrate with us even though we cannot see them. I still celebrate my Dad's birthday with his favorite cake and talk to him once in awhile and do little things to let him know I love him and miss him very much. It really helps me to stay connected to him until we can all be together again. Hang in there sweetie, you'll make it through :)
  13. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thanks hun

    That really means a lot to me.

    I have created a site for my Nan that I use to post messages and stuff so she knows I am thinking of her. And I also go to the grave a lot.

  14. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    sam we can do this together this is the first x mas without 8 of my family members, we can both be each other support i know it be hard but we can both do that. :hug:
  15. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :hug: Danni

    Thank you, means a lot

    Here if you need me x
  16. GypsyGirl

    GypsyGirl Well-Known Member

    The site is beautiful! I was on there the other day looking at the pictures and reading... you are such a sweet person, Sam... that is such a lovely gesture. (You are a better person than me... :sad: I have yet to even visit my fathers' grave... I'll have to do that.)

    Instead of lighting one small candle for my father this year, I am going to light a large one for everyone here in memory of all of those beautiful people we love and have lost...

    And I will have a glass of wine and toast to their memory - and to all of you. You are so strong, even if you don't know it yet. :grouphug:
  17. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    She does know sweetie, and I am sure she is so proud of you at this moment :hug:
  18. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Gypsy, it's not that I am better or stronger than you...not at all. Simply that doing things like that for my nan really help me. some members of my family havent even been to my nans grave yet...not because they dont care but because they cant. because they are dealing with it in a different way. The candle sounds like a great idea by the way :hug:

    Thanks Anastasia :hug:
  19. GypsyGirl

    GypsyGirl Well-Known Member

    :hug: sam... you are right. But that it helps you so much ... I really want to try to go and see if it helps me too. It's funny... deep down I know it will help. It's just getting the strength to follow through. :smile:
  20. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I know, the only reason I think I manage to do it is because I started doing it straight after the funeral, I imagine that starting it now would be difficult...but definately worth it.
    PM me if I can help or anything. Do you have MSN?