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First Love, cant move on

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Just_visiting, Sep 4, 2008.

  1. Just_visiting

    Just_visiting Well-Known Member

    I met this guy wen i was 17 and we dated for a year and a bit. Things were really good to start with, infact they were good for most of the relationship. We had a good time together and i really did love him. I had had relationships before him but he was my first love. Then after about a year things started to go bad, i got pregnant and we split up. We stayed friends for a few months after that but then i found out he hadnt been completely honest with me and things went bad from their. We didnt really have much contact until the baby was born and then we only had very limited contact. His seemingly lack of interest in his child and the past caused alot of problems and we no longer talk at all. Things ended on a very bad note.

    The problem is, despite all of this and despite the fact sometimes i really hate him, i cannot stop thinking about him. Everyday i think about him atleast once. I dont want to lose contact with him. It has been almost 2 years now since we split up so i should be gettin over it by now right? My problem is i dont no what i want, do i love him?! do i hate him for hurting me?! Is it just cos he is the father of my child and so i always feel a connection to him?! I just dont no.

    I dont no if anyone can really say anythin to help but any advice wud b apreciated.
  2. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member


    Well, in my opinion, keeping some kind of relationship would probably be best for your child. That is if he has any interest at all - not very great to let some guy who doesn't love your child to take care of them.

    From family experience, I can say that you'll always have a connection to him. After all, he's the father of your child. Sometimes, when you rejoice and cherish your baby, it's hard not to have some of it rub off on the guy.

    Personally, I think that love is something that is reciprocal. Even if you do love him, if he doesn't feel the same way, it isn't best for you. You deserve someone who will give everything for you and your child.

    My cousin A~ was in a similar situation. Eventually though, she found a great guy who loves her and her baby D~; they're a wonderful family (married now), and very happy.

    I wish you the best, JV!