First message

[Annell]

Hi everybody
This is my first time here. My doctor told me about this site. He said if I cant talk to him, at least I could read some of this messages...
The thing is I dont want to talk. I just want to die. I cut my wrist yesterday and got more stiches...more scars. I almost did die but an old friend came by and found me. Why cant people just leave me alone? This is my life, and them all watching me day and night is not going to stop me. I am sorry if none of this makes any sense to you all.... Does anyone ever felt like they were going to explode? I just want to run and scream and get it over with NOW.

 

[Sadeyes]

Hi A and so glad you found us...sometimes it is so difficult to talk about things in the real life and this is a good place to practice opening up...there are many ppl here going through what you are going through, so I am sure you will find caring support...welcome and please continue to let us know how you are doing...big hugs

 

[Annell]

So i was right. No one here ever felt this rage i feel daily.
Thank for the reply.

 

[Sadeyes]

I have truly felt a deep and almost insane type of rage...from the ages of 3- 15, I was raped and tortured, and my life, for what it was worth, was stolen from me...I continue today to feel a rage, but it is much different...it no longer is the meaning of my life, no longer my power...I still can get quite rageful when I think of all the time and experiences stolen from me, but I have other things in my life to focus on as well...so no, you were not right...there are many ppl who live each day with considerable rage, but I am pleased to say, it does not have to be that way for all time...big hugs and PM me if I can be there for you...Jackie

 

[downmage]

Welcome to SF! I can totally understand your feelings. For me..it hurts me to think about stuff that's going on in my life. I know where you are coming from. I would be lying to you in saying things are going to get better, but I can tell you that there are a lot of people on this message board that feel exactly like you do.

As I read this board there are " bits and pieces " in other's posts that I can really relate to. I can also understand your feelings of rage..I think rage feels a LOT better than being in despair and feeling hopeless. So I think in a way your rage could be a good thing.

I've never cut myself but I have done a few things that didn't work for me.

Anyways, welcome..