first post a sad one

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by passionfruit3, Sep 1, 2014.

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  1. passionfruit3

    passionfruit3 Member

    I have just been doing everything wrong due to my sister suicidal and slowly tapering off my meds which I think has caused withdrawal symptoms. Im so sick right now I don't know what to do with myself. I burned myself a few days ago on purpose. I just feel ugly and with my sister leaving I feel alone and abandoned by everyone. I need help but im afraid and even in the long run my sister will still not be with me.i don't want to feel the pain of her not being here so I want out.i don't want to feel the pain of others leaving me period.i want to escape
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Why are you tapering off meds if feeling worse as you do? Are you doing it on your own or is Dr advising you to go off meds? I am sorry for the pain you are in but to be honest it sounds to me like you are going off meds as a means of self harm to make things more painful....
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. Please do not do anything as you are important. I understand that the closeness off your sister leaving is hard to take. You sister will be there fir you via text, phone and email. You do not need to be so harsh on yourself as live can go on. Self-harming does not help you but you will support from this forum. Please remember you might feel abandon by people but folks here will give you support. Please do not think you are on your own and take care.
  4. passionfruit3

    passionfruit3 Member

    Im tapering of meds to go crazy cause it seems no one wants to help me as a regular in the er and last time I was there for overdose the psychiatrist told me my problems werent consider a criss.he sent me home I did the same thing later that same night and once again I was turned one cares until you do something serious. And I kind of want to be admitted
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Ask for a different psychiatrist if he's not treating you as he should be. Or complain, you do have a right to complain.... he's incompetent in his job if he cannot see a crisis like that.

    I totally get that statement, unfortunately sometimes it's true, even at times seems like they are testing you. See a different psychiatrist and do not go off your meds ''to go crazy'' 'cos you just might do something that you will never be able to reverse. Get help TODAY.!
  6. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you stop taking meds and are not following the care plan at all then you get the label affixed to your record of "non compliant with treatment" - so on these trips to the hospital it comes down to what are they supposed to do? They cannot force you to take meds the right way and to give them the amount of time needed to have an effect. Depending where you are at the sad truth is they begin to look at resources available and how to utilize them - and the label of non- compliant or un-cooperative does not get you more help it gets you far less help. Try taking your meds as prescribed for 6 weeks and when a crisis comes up follow the care plan instructions on who to call and how to deal with the crisis so they see you are making the effort and you will get far more assistance most of the time.

    They will not give you more effective or higher doses of medication if you are known to abuse them and the most you will get is a 3 day hold and discharge without much follow-up doing it your way - as well as all the uncomfortable attitude and looks they give the "frequent flier" patients that just drain their resources (in their opinion).
  7. passionfruit3

    passionfruit3 Member

    People at these hospitals already see me as non compliant cause I usually am in those meds were switched to injections cause It was felt I would not stay on my meds .its the reason it would be better to die cause I am a hassle to family and people period.but I dont know quite how to kill myself properly so ill settle for help but how does someone who has problems controling herself and acts out as a result get help especially when people see her behavior as a sign that she doesnt want help shes just crazy?and petal im talking about the er psychiatrist who said regular psychiatrist is not a bad guy.also I want to start back on my meds but its hard cause my depression meds do nothing for me and also this is not new behavior for me skipping meds and I dont know how to simply get back in the habit of starting again
  8. AlCal

    AlCal Member

    It sounds like you have some difficult changes going on in your life right now and have already had quite a few challenges you've had to overcome in your life. It also seems like you do want help but are having difficulties getting the help you need with the way you've tried to communicate with your You seem to trust your outpatient psychiatrist. Maybe talk to him/her about what you've expressed here including the fact that the only way you have felt heard by them in the past was to act out. If you feel a hospitalization would be helpful ask for it and explain why. It may help give you some extra support to get through this especially rough period, but remember hospitalizations are meant to be short stays to help through a crisis; you will still need to work with your outpatient team for longer term treatment.

    Regarding your meds, please work with your psychiatrist to get back on them. If you've been off of them for awhile talk to your psychiatrist first. You may need to restart them at a lower dose and slowly titrate back up to your previous dose. As to getting back into the habit of taking them daily, try setting an alarm on your phone to remind yourself, or put your meds by your toothbrush and take them when you brush your teeth (either am or pm), or put them by your coffee pot and take them when you have coffee in the morning or anything else that would help you remember them.

    Sorry this is so long; hope it makes sense.
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