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First post, first time sharing depressions ever

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bio, May 29, 2014.

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  1. Bio

    Bio Member

    This is the first time I talk about my depressions to someone. I choose the Internet to do with.

    I have all the time but cannot find the peace to understand my feelings which make it hard to explain.

    I live in darkness, I don't have my own room, I don't go to school, and have no friends.
    I only have my family, and they are not spending any money on me. I just wish if they give me what all other families give, nothing else. Not asking to get everything I want like many other teens, just want the basic things they get without asking for like CARE.

    Maybe you would be surprised if know that I only speak a few words in a day. My family haven't asked me why even. In my deeps and everyday, I blame them for born me.
    I wish if I was nothing because I'm WEAK, running away maybe would be a choice if I'm not.

    Have no suicidal attempts, because I'm sure this would be the only thing that I will not fail in.
    Like a year ago, I decided to commit suicide before we move to our new house.
    Now, only few months remaining, and that what make me to try talk to someone.

    Sorry for my bad grammar,
  2. ViolentGirl

    ViolentGirl Banned Member

    Where are you from?

    That's the cruelty of life. No one ever asks to be born.
  3. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    ViolentGirl is correct.. none of us ask to be born.. but, it is for each of us to accept the fact that we have been born and to make the most of it that we can. It sounds as if you were born into an uncaring family. Unfortunately, I do not think that is uncommon these days.. I wish it were. I am not saying that you do not have hardship, I am saying that I have sympathy and even some empathy for you and others such as yourself. One lesson I think will help you most... is to realize that we can rely on nobody but ourselves for anything.. not even love... and by nobody i mean nobody... not friends, not family, not relatives, not pastors or other clergy or church acquaintances, not co-workers or schoolmates, nobody at all... the only person we can rely on and that we can change ... is ourself. Once you realize that... you can then start trying to determine what changes if any you personally can make to improve your situation and thus make your life more bearable for you to live.

    I don't think any of us are as weak as we perceive ourselves to be... in fact since you say you are weak, i am almost certain you are strong... especially since you go on to say you have no suicidal attempts.... that takes strong resolve at times.. to not attempt.
  4. Bio

    Bio Member

    Sorry, but I don't prefer to share that here.

    Thanks for your reply though.

    You have no idea what that mean to me, I have never get any kind of such support.
    I would print your post and keep it with me if that's okay for you.

    I can't find the right words to thank you.
    You really make the change,
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