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first post here - long

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by grey_skies, Mar 6, 2012.

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  1. grey_skies

    grey_skies New Member

    This is my first post outside the welcome forum. I don't really know how to start. I'm a little nervous because I see a lot of posts about very serious issues, and I'm afraid people will feel like mine are so trivial in comparison. But, I just can't take it any more.

    I have been unemployed for too long (since 2009). It may not sound like so long, especially compared to others, but it really drags on. The stress of not knowing when or where any money will come and not being able to plan a life for myself is too much.

    I have tried everything. I have applied everywhere. I have sent out between three and ten applications a day. I've gotten a total of three interviews, none of them leading anywhere. I've written carefully crafted cover letters. I've sent my resume everywhere. I've applied to every job I'm even remotely qualified for, and some I'm not. I'm hitting walls with everything. I've done administrative work for two years, yet some ads for admin assistance want a bachelors degree. What the hell?

    I even tried sales (cold calling, door to door) just to get something before I realized I would actually lose money, or end up paying to go to work, depending on how you look at it.

    I've gotten my resume professionally done. I got a hiring manager specifically to look over it. I've even gotten a compliment on it at an interview (but no job offer). I've taken career development courses. I've been told I excel in all the areas. Great resume. Lots of skills. I interview well. I present well. I dress well. I've even been told at an interview for a temp agency that I'm bright, personable, friendly, etc, but of course they gave me one assignment (for three days) and vanished. I almost wish someone would tell me I suck at something just so that I have a reason for nothing working out. At least then I could work on something. What on earth am I supposed to do?

    Every so often now hiring signs will go up at the grocery and convenience stores. I always apply, and I never hear anything. A few months later, the signs go back up (doesn't anyone keep applications on file any more?). I apply again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Clearly, there's something they didn't like about my application, but how am I supposed to know what to do differently if no one tells me anything?

    I've tried networking. All the official networking events I've been to are either geared to those who already have a job or are over run by MLMs. My family can't help. I have almost no friends here. My church refused to help me. They halfheartedly told me not to worry, then continued to send me "give us money" pleas.

    I found another church, and they were even worse. After about a month of going, they already wanted me to purchase donuts for them (though they never talked to me during coffee and donuts). They also tried to get me to attend their classes and seminars (for a fee, of course).

    I was so desperate I even went to the local Hare Krishna temple because I heard they are always recruiting people. After spending countless hours helping out and talking about Krishna, I got basically the same result. They were a bit more subtle, but after they found out I have little money and even less friends, they also stopped talking to me. Other members, some even newer than me got good recommendations for jobs, but not me. If they wanted money from me, shouldn't they have helped me? I have been told by every religious organization I've attempted to join that running things costs money and nothing is free. I suppose they think my expenses just take care of themselves, then? :rolleyes:

    I've done more, but I'm getting stressed just writing this. There's just so much, and I can't control any of it. I just want to do something with my life, anything as long as it's my own. I'm at the point where I'm almost tempted to set up a tent somewhere and call it done. I feel so alone. Every time someone tries to relate to me, it's either, "I know how you feel, my job doesn't pay enough" or "I can't get a job in my field". Right now, the only thing I want is a paying job.

    I just feel so hopeless
  2. TheConqueror

    TheConqueror New Member

    You are not the only one. I have felt the same way for sometime. I have lost as much and have not gained anything back. I question everything that happens now and everything that I have done in the past. It is terrible
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I can't help you with a job or recommendations. I can tell you that your crisis is not trivial, comparing yourself to others can be deceptive.

    You are welcome here. You're important to us, and won't hit you up for any donations.

    We're a community that helps each other, we support and encourage each other.

    You may post anything (within the FAQ) that's on your mind, or troubling you. If you prefer a one-on-one chat, send someone a PM, chances are that if they are online, they'll respond.
  4. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Hi - first of all welcome :hug:
    Second of all - please don't ever feel that your problems are trivial; we are here to support each other whatever the issue. I know I have posted over some seemingly tiny insignificant things before. The point is how awful it is making you feel.
    I know the job market is tough and that it can be utterly demoralising out there - you should be proud of yourself for not giving up and for applying for things with such diligence. Many would not and are not. I don't have anything by way of job advice - I am sure if your resume has been looked over by professionals that there is nothing wrong with it. I can't imagine why stores who appear to always need staff never get back to you. I wish I knew of something you could do or some way you can help but I just don't.
    I may not do well with advice but I (and the rest of us) are here to listen and support. You are not alone. If you need to talk please feel free to PM me any time. I'm Lu by the way :)
    Take care of yourself and don't give in - eventually something has to go your way :hug:
  5. grey_skies

    grey_skies New Member

    Thank you so much for all your support. Of course, I don't expect anyone to have job solutions (;) ), but it's so nice to hear that people know where I'm coming from. I know lots of people feel this way, but I seem to only attract those who don't know what it's like in real life (joblessness or suicide). Even though I've only made two posts, you have still been very helpful. Thank you for your support.
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