First Post

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Knightmare, Nov 16, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Knightmare

    Knightmare New Member

    Hello,

    I was brought to this forum when I began to do research about suicide and the various ways in doing it. My research has been very unsatisfying because whenever I look at the consequences of failed attempts, it reminds me about how clumsy I am and that my success rate is probably much lower than the average success rate. So basically, I've been struggling with these thoughts on-and-off for about 2 years. I just recently started to do more research after an incident at work with a female coworker pushed me over the edge. Yes, she did hurt me emotionally--that's what most women in my life seem to do--but this one affected me more because part of me feels like I was ACTUALLY the cause this time. Other times, I'm nice to the woman and give them respect, but with my coworker, it seemed like she was using me. I mean, after only knowing me for 2 months, she would sit at my desk, chat with me, write me notes, and text me constantly. I was happy for a while, but then my past experiences with women like this kicked in and I remember that the guy she talked to all the time was in training, so I thought I was her blanket while he was away.

    Not liking this feeling, I threw all of the notes away and began to ignore her. This was a mistake because shortly after I realize how heartless my behaviour must have seemed. She didn't have to write those notes, she didn't have to chat with me, she didn't have to do any of that; she chose to. She chose me out of all of the other coworkers. Now I can't get a straight answer from her. She says that she forgives me, but we don't click like we used to. It's honestly the most heartbreaking experience ever. Now I'm on my own to find the right answer because my conversations with her are short and she's beginning to chat with another male coworker who I consider to be a close friend. I think she's doing it on purpose but I fear I will never find out.

    There is much more to tell about myself, but my most recent event is what sent me over the edge. I don't know what to expect from this site, but I'm hoping for some sort of answer to my questions that will go unanswered by my coworker. I'm not very good at giving all of the details, so please feel free to ask me any questions and don't be afraid to pry. I feel that prying into another person's life shows that you care about them.
     
  2. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Well, Hi back, I guess that I will start. Yes we are able to answer some of your questions and some/most of the answers will be from people who are dealing with the issues, problems and situations that you may be asking about. Some in here may be looking for the same answers that you are and will still offer you assistance if you ask. If you are sincere and up front I believe you will get the same type of reaction in return. You have presented a situation or issue that you are now dealing with. I am not sure what you are looking for from what you have written, there may be somebody in here that can or will help you.

    I will welcome you to the SF and tell you to check out some of the posts you see in here and maybe those will give you some idea of the type of questions and answers. I am sure that you will be comfortable and feel safe in here. I know I do.
    I sincerely hope that you find what you are looking for, there is help to be had in here. I wish you the Best.
     
  3. Knightmare

    Knightmare New Member

    I don't know what I'm looking for either. Today was a big step for me because I didn't try to talk to the girl and I ignored her when she tried talking to me. You see, I believe in treating others the way they want to be treated--I've been living my life the other way around and have yet to see good results--and she is truly giving me the cold shoulder, no matter how many times I apologize or show regret for what I have done. She is truly heartless and I am starting to understand this.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.