i'm not sure if anyone else feels this way... ever since i was little, no matter what's going on in my life good or bad, i feel like i was never supposed to be here. i've been depressed all my life, never wanting anything other than to just not exist. i'm on a few anti-depressants and anxiety megs. the best i feel is hyper and silly for a few hours at a time. my doctor says the meds will make me THINK DIFFERENTLY, i don't know if i believe it. i had a normal childhood, good self confidence, my situations, my environment have no grip on how i feel. and still i would choose not to exist over anything in the world, no matter how "amazing" my life was. every time have a bath i want to drown, every time i cross the street i WISH to get hit. it's just so hard to live.