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First thread here since I joined..almost 3 years ago

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Dinosaur, Jun 15, 2009.

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  1. Dinosaur

    Dinosaur Active Member

    At least in this section of the forum it is.

    Well, here goes

    Until three days ago, nobody knew of my suicidal thoughts besides my two high school counsellors and I. High school was ending and I was in an emotional disarray. So out of a completely irrational thought, knowing all the rules of what I can say and what I can't, I told my high school counsellor that I was going to kill myself and that I had a specific plan =/

    My counsellor actually gave me two choices, he would either call my mom and we would find treatment and recovery from there, or he would call the response team. I didn't want my family to know, and after arguing lots, he called the response team. Response team tells him that I should be admitted into the hospital. Well, hours later, I get admitted into the hospital through involuntary admission, and my mom finds out. I stay at the hospital overnight,then assessment in the morning, released (although they wanted to keep me inpatient).

    So yeah, now I have to be set up with a therapist or something, and I'm going to be put on citalopram soon.

    I don't really know what to make of this. Now that my family knows, should I feel relieved? Should I feel trapped? This was something that came totally unexpected.

    The suicidal feelings are still here, but for some reason, I'm too scared to even think about them, as if someone was going to show up at my door to drag me back to the hospital :p (I hated it there, by the way)

    I guess right now, I'm trying to adjust, but again, I don't know what's going to happen...and I guess that's the main thing that really scares me.

    Thanks for reading.
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    It took a lot of courage to post your feelings here.

    I, and many others here know what you are going through. We know that the uncertainty can be overwhelming. But in my opinion, you are in a good situation.

    It has been my experience that most families are very supportive. The main positive here is that you have begun to get help. Please continue to post when you feel comfortable. You can make some good contacts and friends here.
  3. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Hey DeathNote,

    I think it's great you're getting the help you need, maybe this could be a turning point for you. Have your family been supportive so far?
    It can feel strange them knowing at first but at least now they can understand you better and help you on your way to recovering.
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