First thread/post or whatever, this is my story. I'm new to forums btw

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jdoran_16, Oct 23, 2013.

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  1. Jdoran_16

    Jdoran_16 New Member

    Well, I am a 16 year old boy who really doesn't have the greatest life. I mean my parents are wonderful and they do everything for me but everything outside my home is just too painful and even sometimes In my home I get very stressed. Recently two months ago, my best friend that I knew since birth passed away. Just to explain how close we were, my grandmas and his grandma grew up together as best friends, so did our moms and so did we. So I was pretty devastated when that happened. But that's not the reason as too why I'm depressed. It is a factor but not the main reason. I was never really the most popular or coolest kid but in 6th grade I was pretty well liked. I was friends with mostly everyone. In 7th I got into a fist fight in school with my good friend and since then I've been loosing more and more friends. I didn't really mind loosing him as a friend because he really has a negative impact on my life but anyway I started hanging out with a more popular group in 9th grade and I started loosing weight, became more attractive, basically I became conceited and cut off a lot of my friends that I thought weren't cool enough. Inevitably that came to bite me in the ass because my new popular "friends" did the same to me. So now we are at present day. It's junior year and i literally have one friend and I can already feel me and that friend drifting away. I've been feeling suicidal since 7th grade but I've never had this much pain before. Everyday I wake up miserable and wanting to die. I'm not going to commit suicide, but I do think about it way too often and the main reason why I came on here was because I have no one else to talk to. Nobody understands the pain that I go through realizing that my best friend who I thought would be here for my wedding day isn't here anymore.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Jordan i am sorry for you loss it is good you are here you can talk to us and make new friends that understand your sadness ok. Is there someone at your school you can talk to about your sadness a teacher you trust or a councilor that can help you through your grief for your friend
    Keep posting ok we will listen
     
  3. Jdoran_16

    Jdoran_16 New Member

    I'm not a very open person so not really. The only person I've ever opened to was my best friend and we had a falling out because we had this whole big thing where we were both depressed and we both liked each other so we tried dating but it didn't work out because we kept fighting so basically we aren't friends anymore and I don't trust anybody else. So that's why I came here haha
     
  4. Jdoran_16

    Jdoran_16 New Member

    And also I've been smoking weed for at least a year and that's been so helpful but my parents recently caught me and that was my only source of happiness so I'm even more depressed now it's just so awful
     
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry it's been hard...maybe you should see a counsellor and talk to them about your feelings and everything? or maybe talk to your parents so you could get help? maybe write them a letter if you can't talk to them face to face...I understand how hard it can be and alone you feel, the best way to break that is to talk to someone and accept help from professional...

    you can always talk here, people here are nice and they understand...I've made a few friends so I'm sure you can make some here too :)
     
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