first time here

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by flowers, Jun 16, 2009.

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  1. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hello
    I am a 58 years old woman. I have had a lot of years of failure. not measuring up etc etc. I always once again found hope, somehow. But hope no longer is there. Because of many things that have occurred over the past 7 or 8 months. And then things that occured in the past two weeks that topped it off. I will not directly attempt kill myself. I pray a lot. Always adding to go to the light. Often I Beg to leave and go to the light. I have written more in this post.... and then deleted it .......so many times that I will just stop here. Blessings and best wishes to all, flowers
     
  2. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    flowers :hug:

    welcome to SF :) I hope that you find the place a good place to be and find lots of support.

    when you feel ready, do post more about you and what is troubling you - talking can really help and there are plenty of people here to listen and support you through the bad times.

    Big hugs
    Ellie
     
  3. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Hi Flowers, welcome to the forum.
     
  4. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. I hope you can find some solace here. Please share when you feel up to it. There are many caring and insightful people here to share your situation with.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello flowers(pretty name) :)

    welcome to the forums. :flowers:
     
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hello, Flowers. Welcome to SF! There are lots of supportive people here who will be happy to listen when you want to talk. I hope you feel better soon. :hug:
     
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum flowers. i am sorry you are hurting so much. I hope you find support here with us. :hug:
     
  8. NotSureAnymore

    NotSureAnymore Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF xxxx Let it all out!
     
  9. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Hello and welcome Flowers.
    Hope you find what you are looking for.
    Don't be afraid to approach me.

    :rose:
     
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Thank you all for the warm welcome. I hope to be able to come here and talk and post. I appreciate each and every one of your responses.
     
  11. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Welcome to SF Flowers! :)
    Hope you find support here. :hug:
     
  12. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    Welcome flowers! :arms:
    :rose:
     
  13. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Welcome to SF!
    Hope you find what you are looking for.
    Don't be afraid to approach me if you need anything.

    :arms:
     
  14. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF Flowers.

    :hug: xx
     
  15. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Hello Flowers and welcome to the forums.
     
  16. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry your having such a rough time, if you need anything dont be afraid to pm me :hug:
     
  17. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Thank you all for your responses. Reading them really helps. today is a hard day. Dont exactly know why. I am so oldddddd. Chatroom here is not for me because I am 58 years old. I am so alone. A spiritual teacher who wanted to find people to take nature walks with me also said, before asking anyone, "no one really wants to be with you". Telling me what I already know when I had just told her that all i do is pray and beg to die, was not the best way to handle it. Since then I have totally isolated. I just cannot be around people who do not want to be around me. Yes, I can be pessamistic about myself. But not about others. Not about nature. But I know this causes people to not want to be around me. I am good at helping others though. anyway, its very sad to be so alone. but after 58 years of trying, I sort of finally gave up. I know I can live out my days having given up. Just sad. And there is a glimmer of hope for the future. Just a very sad day today. Cannot work. But have no means of income. So its a bit challenging to find hope for this person who lives in fear, intense anxiety and worries so much.

    After checking out peoples ages here, i found that many are young enough to be my grand chidlren or children. How could I tell my problems to people who I could be parent to. Being so alone is very difficult. Especially when I am partially agoraphobic. I can go to the store to buy things needed such as groceries. But just going out to events or walks in nature would not be possible. thank you for reading this. I pray for help with becoming more positive about myself. I am reading the "highly sensitive person" it helps. But I get very jittery reading it. (smiles as I write that). Mostly, I do not want to bother anyone. I am okay with helping people though. Even though irl I absorb peoples feelings. so its a bit tricky. Again, thank you for reading this. My heart is very sad
     
  18. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    welcome to the forum flowers :flowers:
     
  19. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    i'm sorry you feel as though you can't talk to many of us because of our ages
    i know it may be hard to relate when our problems are so widespread, but we are all in the same boat in the end - needing help and to give help.
    welcome to the forum - i know i'm young but i have a lot of family members around your age who suffer from depression so if you feel comfortable enough to talk to me then feel free :smile: we're all here for you if you need us :hug:
    there's the antiquities forum that you may feel more at home in if you're concerned about age.. but you're welcome everywhere :)
    hope to see you around the board :heart: thinking of you
    triggs xx
     
  20. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Thanks Triggs. that was really, really nice for you to say. And i believe you !! I just have this mommy thing that kicks in. Sort of dont give problems to people who could be your kids age. But you are right. Often people who are younger have a heck of a lot more wisdom than us older folks. Age is not often a factor at all.

    I will remember your name. Cuz your heart is terriffic. I can feel it in your words. seriously. sometimes we can hurt a lot. but still have a wonderful good light heart. No matter how much that heart hurts. Sending lots of thanks for your words.
     
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