First time in a long time. (trigger warning)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by prophetbirds, Feb 9, 2012.

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  1. prophetbirds

    prophetbirds Well-Known Member

    I just relapsed for the first time in a long while. I found a razor in my bathroom that I guess had just been left there by one of the construction workers in our house... and it just felt so good. But I know that this is just going to get worse if my parents find out that I'm cutting again. I'm just caught between keeping the razor, which I really want to do, and throwing it away, which is what I should do. It's so good to do it again... just seeing my body with all of those designs on it... I've missed it so much.
  2. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    please toss that thing out. If it was used for construction work there could be all kinds of nasty things on it capable of causing infection.
  3. ewaste

    ewaste Member

    GO TO YOUR GP AND GET A TETANUS SHOT if you haven't had one in the last few years.
  4. prophetbirds

    prophetbirds Well-Known Member

    Okay, this is starting to scare me. I'm in high school, I live with my parents. Is there a way that I can get a tetanus shot without them knowing? Oh shit, I should have never done this, fuck fuck fuck. Why can't I just think things through, for once?

    But really, thank you. I'm going to try and find a better one. Or quit. But finding a safer razor is the more likely option.
  5. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    Hon, you know its better if you quit right? but its hard... Next time you feel like cutting, maybe you could take deep long breaths. It will also help you think things through.
  6. wolfgirl0510

    wolfgirl0510 New Member

    Sweetie I know that it is hard to stop. I was a cutter for eight years, I relapsed a couple of times and I can tell you that its hard but well well worth stopping. When you feel like cutting call up a friend and just talk to them. They don't have to know what is going on. I wouldn't have stopped if it wasn't for the help of my best friend who stayed up all night talking on the phone with me till 3 in the morning. Like you I didn't want my parents to know about me cutting, I hid it from them for a long time. Don't cut it can only lead to many years of hiding it from the ones that you care about. It also hurts them as well.
  7. prophetbirds

    prophetbirds Well-Known Member

    Thanks, all. I'm not going to go get tested, it would be far too conspicuous and I'm pretty sure that I'm okay. (yes, I know tetanus can incubate for a while in the body, but I'm very confident that I'll be fine)
    I haven't cut for three days, but then again I haven't had much of a chance to, but I'm hoping for the best in the future. I certainly won't try and go cold turkey, but little by little.
  8. ewaste

    ewaste Member

    Sorry sorry, didn't mean to scare you so much (that's why I rarely post, I often get the emphasis wrong and scare people...) Tetanus is a bit of a long shot, you're probably fine - if you were going to get a nasty case, you would have noticed it by now. But still, if you can't quit, at least don't use rusty/dirty stuff - your luck might run out one day.
  9. prophetbirds

    prophetbirds Well-Known Member

    No no no, not at all. I should be thanking you for posting, really, I could have seriously hurt myself (ironic, yes, but still).
    And yes, I'm staying safe with this. If I'm going to be self-destructive, I might as well take care to not destroy myself. :p
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