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First time I've felt this way in my life.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DannyBoy, Sep 24, 2010.

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  1. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    Hi, I'm new here and new to these horrible feelings.

    To me suicide seems like the logical thing to do at this point in my life.

    I've always been a happy, carefree person, but over the last year I've been suffering from OCD, panic disorder, depression, and anxiety. I've always had all three, but now I don't have as many friends or outlets as I used to have. I'm very much alone.

    I'm living at home with my parents working a shitty job. I don't have much of a future and even the future I can envision seems rather crappy to me. Like it's not even worth striving for. I just want to feel happy again, but I don't think it's going to happen.

    I have one good friend left in town. My other friends are married or have gfs. They are usually too busy and I don't want to trouble them with my problems.

    So I've been envisioning ways to do it more and more. I find myself trying to stay in bed as long as possible, but even then I'm restless.

    I just don't feel happy about anything anymore. I don't get happy at all, I simply get temporary relief from my worrying, that's it. I'm on medication as it is hoping I will feel better. I've been sinking deeper and deeper and I feel like I'm finally bottoming out to where I don't have any more outlets or any pleasure left to go to. When it gets to this point what then?

    So I'm wondering how others here have dealt with these feelings. If it wasn't for my parents and my dogs I would already be dead. I'm scared, alone, disturbed, and disappointed in life.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Danny and welcome. Have you spoken to the doctor that perscribed the medication how you are feeling? There are so many medications available, so maybe s/he might want to change what you are on. I hope you speak to someone and see if you can be some relief...you deserve it...big hugs and welcome again, J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It seems logical to you because it is depression making you think that way it is not logic at all to want to end ones life. You depression is taken over and you need professional help to dig your way out of it okay. Talk to your doctor and maybe try meds to help you get into therapy to help change your way of thinking but get help okay so you can feel well again take care
  4. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    Are there really successful drugs for depression? I take meds for anxiety mainly, but now I feel depressed.

    I just don't see much of a future, I don't see how drugs are going to change that....
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I have taken medication for anxiety as well and when it lifted (a lot), I was considerably less depressed...please speak to a Psych MD and see if there is anything right for you...J
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi DannyBoy. Depression really sucks, because it makes you unable to enjoy life like you used to. Don't let yourself get sucked into the pits of despair. I know it must be hard seeing your friends enjoy their lives and not be able to enjoy yours, but take it one day at a time and try to do something everyday that makes you feel better. Don't give up hope. :hug:
  7. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    Thanks, I am trying, but more and more I like to stay in bed which I know makes it worse.
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I'm getting over a bad cold and pretty much stayed under a warm comforter all day today. It's good to try and do things though, even small things like cleaning up the house or going for a walk. :hug:
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