First Time

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Matt93, Sep 25, 2010.

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  1. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    Fuck, a little under 24 hours ago I self harmed and I haven't self harmed in nearly two years. Now all I want to do is more. I want to cut till I bleed so bad. I'm in such pain, not from the cuts, but from depression. The cuts hurt so good.

    I feel I've let myself down unfortunately, because it's been two years since I self harmed. I thought I was stronger than this. I thought I can hold on without SH. I guess I was wrong.
     
  2. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    You are ambivalent about the self harm because it is self harm.
    You did well stopping for two years. You had a relapse.
    But you did hold on without it and you can again.
    The urge will fade away and you can be free of it.
     
  3. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I'll fight the urges. But there's no promises I'll succeed.
     
  4. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    It is good to hear that your will fight.
    Maybe you can avoid whatever caused the relapse.
    Or find ways of distracting yourself from that cursed urge.
     
  5. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Anyone who has stopped for two years has succeeded not failed. You should be congratulated for keeping away from it for so long. The desire for self harm is a negative coping skill, which does not go away completely. Try to learn from this experience to keep your guard up especially during stressful times.
     
  6. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    I applaud you, two years, thats amazing , give yourself credit for your sucess. So you relasped it happens, it happens to alot of people. But you are here showing that you are concerned of your actions. I believe you are stronger than the lure of self harm. prove it to yourself.
     
  7. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    Thanks Loser, I'm unsure as to what caused my relapse, but it happened. I've thrown all sharp objects away from my room. I'm still getting those urges, but I can fight them, or I shall try.

    And thanks for the positivity GA_lost. I read this "Guide to Self Harm" earlier saying that if I have a relapse, try and beat the time I've not been self harming. So I'm going to try that.

    And yeah, it happens. I'll try and prove that not only to myself, but to everyone. Thank you Johnnyc.

    Thank you all.
     
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