first timer

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by in2deep, Jun 17, 2010.

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  1. in2deep

    in2deep New Member

    This is so weird for me, I have never joined one of these things before but have read alot of forums related to drugs. I've had a habit now for over two years on oxycodone (just looking at it here gives me cravings) and have been on and off for the last few months. I guess today I had a mental breakdown or something because it hit me with all the money I have spent buying off the street. Now I have nothing, no drugs, no money, no friends, and worst off, no support. Right at this moment, I just want to take a bunch of pills and never wake up in the morning because I don't even know how I'm going to pay any of my bills or get into treatment. I'm losing everything. I have already taken a bunch of xanax and washed it down with some liquor. Just so hopeless about everything and feeling so isolated. I just want to die. I know my situation probably a cake walk to others, but still...this is no joke about seriously considering suicide. I figure the least painful way is to take a bunch of pills and just never wake up, but don't want to die, just disappear. Any advice would be appreciated.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi in2deep. Pharmaceutical companies created oxycodone and marketed it to doctors as a less addictive painkiller. As a result, doctors have overprescribed it, because they didn't realize that it was so addictive. Now, many people are hooked on oxycodone in one of its forms (Oxycontin, Percocets etc.). I think that you should check yourself into a rehab center and get detoxified. You need to get clean and break your oxycodone addiction. It will take a lot of will power though.
  3. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    Hey there. I got into morphine and percocets a couple of months back and quickly too. They are pretty addcitive so I can see how it can happen. My dad is fully addicted to his oxys and so are a lot of his friends. I am sorry you are going through this.
    I am not sure where you live but have you looked into socially funded treatment options at all? There are inpatient, outpateint, detox and hospital options.

    I am currently looking into treatment options for myself for alcohol, pot, benzos etc..that are publicly funded and have been running into a few walls. The key is to keep trying though. I have lost hope a couple of times myself but I somehow have found strength to keep at it. I'm actually going into emerg at my hospital tomorrow and seeing if they can get my into a psych hospital nearby for substance abuse and concurrent disorders program or if they can speed up the process of getting me into treatment asap.

    btw..addiction is NO cakewalk. Please don't harm yourself over this, there are other ways.
    Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat about anything.
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