This is so weird for me, I have never joined one of these things before but have read alot of forums related to drugs. I've had a habit now for over two years on oxycodone (just looking at it here gives me cravings) and have been on and off for the last few months. I guess today I had a mental breakdown or something because it hit me with all the money I have spent buying off the street. Now I have nothing, no drugs, no money, no friends, and worst off, no support. Right at this moment, I just want to take a bunch of pills and never wake up in the morning because I don't even know how I'm going to pay any of my bills or get into treatment. I'm losing everything. I have already taken a bunch of xanax and washed it down with some liquor. Just so hopeless about everything and feeling so isolated. I just want to die. I know my situation probably a cake walk to others, but still...this is no joke about seriously considering suicide. I figure the least painful way is to take a bunch of pills and just never wake up, but don't want to die, just disappear. Any advice would be appreciated.