Hi All I posted message titled three months on, now heres another update hopefull to give otrs some encouragement. Firstly Im sorry to have not been here offer as much input or advice to any posters, but I have been limited on opportunity to check in. I guess thats - selfishly - a good thing for me. OK heres what Ive done... Luckily Ive regained contact with the lady who , in last two years, I fell in love (Im in my 50's remember)e with but also I let down so badly. However a renewed relationship is very much early days, or probably not likely to happen. Ive started work again. Doing an extreemly tiring job at less than minimum wage and 12-14 hour days. I hate it, have no respect from anyone but it is filling my time and reduces the 'poor me' attitude i did have. After work i sleep then start work again next day. That is good enough for now. I am eating but not as well as i should. But working will encourage my body to tell me to re fuel myself. Im on no medication as i refused anything. Feel very good about this aspect. Still have support from the couple true friends i have. Other than this i have no contact with anyone. The criminal charges ahead of me are still a long way off . This is a huge concern but i have to wait and see. Other tgan this i simply say, im still here, both physically and mentallt stronger, although not happy and certainly not the person i was a year ago. But i am here !!!!!