Fix This Life

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by mlxjaded, Sep 18, 2011.

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  1. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    Fix This Life

    Ever felt too weak to care?
    Like the world has shunned you out,
    And it's all too hard to bare?
    Welcome to my world.
    No time for metaphors,
    This could be the last thing I ever share.
    Then will they understand?
    Then will they care?
    Take all the bad I've done,
    Will this right here come close to repair?
    Welcome to my mind.
    The darkness won't seem so bad in time, I swear.
    So this I declare as my final farewell,
    Accept that I've gone.
    Don't dare dwell over me.



    I don't even know what this is about. The first few sentences were about the usual depression I face but then it changed. I started thinking what if I died right now and people saw just this poem. Would this explain my behavior over the past 5 years? Could it help them forgive me? And then it kind of went back to the reason I've been depressed again. Weird poem- not sure if I like it.
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    For me, it made a whole lot of sense.

    This one has a strong sense of control in it, I think. For me, it is saying that "I have lots of regrets, and I feel helpless in dealing with what's going on and has gone on. Please forgive me for what I've done. I don't want to hurt you or bother you anymore."

    I agree that this one is definitely very different from your others I've read today.
     
  3. mlxjaded

    mlxjaded Well-Known Member

    I find it funny that you can decipher my own writings better than I can :biggrin: That's pretty much what I meant by it after giving it some thought. The worst part is, though, that I feel I'm making way too big a deal out of "this." I haven't done anything wrong. I just felt like I haven't been good enough. No one has ever made me feel that way but the standards I set for myself are just way too high and I'm always being let down. That's where all my "guilt" comes from. It's my own fault pretty much. And it's not even huge, life-altering events. It's the little things that kill me. Yeah, now I'm rambling. I really don't know how to explain what I'm thinking sometimes so I guess I'll just keep writing..
     
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I can see where you're coming from. Sort of like how little things can add up.. and also be more memorable than you would like them to be. Makes it hard for me to stop mulling over past events that other people would vaguely recall and mostly likely forget. Plus, I often feel like I'm not good enough as well, instead wishing I was some extraordinarily gifted guy. But in reality, I'm a limited person and not who I would ideally want to be.. and even though my expectations may be too high, it's hard for me to accept my limitations. I'm rambling too, as you can see, so it's all good! Keep writing! :)
     
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