I've been suicidal for years. I don't think I actually have the nerve to do it but I often feel like dying. I believe I know what may be causing my depression. How do I go about fixing these problems? Where do I start. If i'm not actually going to do the deed, I have to try and fix myself somehow. I don't know how long I'd be alive and I'd rather not always be sad/angry with a smile masking it. Any advice?