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Flashbacks of Rape

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by wallflower, Apr 24, 2008.

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  1. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    Flashbacks Thursday, April 24, 2008

    Is there any way of knowing, if you were raped on drugs? I keep getting these flashbacks of a time in my life, keep thinking and something adds up or doesn't add up and I have no way of proving it either way. And it's really bothering me, how would I know if it was five yrs ago? I'm not sure i want anyone irl to know. can't say it to my parents, I need to know though, and why wouldn't I question it if something happened. I had this dream one night a very very realistic dream (I was fourteen when I had this dream and at a boarding school) that was like aflashback. I was @ boarding school and I was being walked through the boarding school halls at night the light were off, and there were two of the seniors walking me with them, and they used to really pick on me a lot so I feel like something happened, and I dont know it was all skewed but i had a break and left about three days after the dream and something feel slike it happened, and i am freaking out because I keep hearing this "i told her to kill herself, i raped her" at random intervals in the day out of the blue when nothing not a care is on my mind suddenly I heard this- just recently though. It's never happened before, but when five years ago I was in bad shape and incoherent, now I dont know hwat to do.
    I dont want to block it out but i am afraid that the memories has been permanently been erased by the treatment and drugs.

    Im afraid it's true.
  2. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    i mean, this would be completely unknown. I had just turned fifteen before I had to leave, and then I had a break. I wouldn't remember...but there's something I know that I can't seem, like, I have a lot of pain and trouble remembering the few days before I had the episode. Like, there's something i am intentionally blocking out- maybe i should try hypnosis therapy? Maybe there's a memory? I'm afraid if I did hypnosis I would just be making it up, but this thing- it strikes me with a realistic I mean my heart has been racing, when it happened my heart really was racing and I could just be making it up or delusional, I am hearing a voice that's telling me I was raped five years ago, and out of the blue. And there's no way I will ever know if it's true.
  3. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    his was very short. It happened when I woke up I was fourteen. I saw two of the bullies walking me through the school, I was bouncing around, like walking weirdly up and down, and mumbling to myself. They were looking ahead and walking me ahead. The lights were off, I was near the auditorium.

    the strange thing is- how much it is scaring me. How much i DONT want to remember, that's what makes me think it might be true. Why wouldn't i want to remember. Would it be denial? Am I in denial of schizpohrenia? AM I just trying to explain away my illness. I amwtf how do people wake up one morning and snap just like that!?

    I was one minute fine, then I just woke up walked outside and wouldn't walk any further. Then a teacher came and talked to me, then my parents pciked me up- then I had hot flashes and felt i was drowning away and couldn't breath, I kept pouring hot water and then cold water on my hands nad couldn't get comfortable, everthin g burned.

    Then I was hospitalized, i started hearing voices.
  4. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    someone please answer- I need to figure this out. I am not sure how I could figure it out. Is it impossible?
  5. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    I dont think when hypnotised it is actually possible to make things up but to be honest I dont know enough about it. I do think, however, it is definitely worth a try. I think u might be able to find out what happened or didnt happen in some kind of therapy, whichever way is best :dunno:

    I hope you find the answer x
  6. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    Interesting have you spoken to a therapist or councelour about this incident. I know it sounds ridiculous but this could all be in your head. Try talking to a professional about this. Good luck Hope it works out for you.
  7. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    Yeah it could be, honestly, but I don't know why it happened that I thought it.
    I'm going to talk to my mom about getting a therapist or someone.
  8. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    Good luck!
  9. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    sometimes.. our mind ..as like self protecting..
    blocks the bad things-
    and tried to deletes it

    happened to me.. and i'm okie with it
    there are somethings that are better to forget x)
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