Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Blacky, Feb 3, 2014.

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  1. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Hey, so I just wanted to ask you guys something...
    Yesterday my mom and I watched the movie "the perks of being a wallflower" together and there was one scene that kinda triggers something...
    Yesterday night I kept seeing things fr my past and ...
    I don't know ...
    Truth is it was really harsh and I can't really ignore it but at the same time I can't really remember what happend in the real world when I saw my flashback ...
    I just wanted to end it yesterday because I remembers something that really broke my heart ...
    Do you know this?
    Having flashbacks and then just ...
    Feeling so low that you don't want to go on??
    I key thinking about it and I can't concentrate anymore ...
    I'm feeling like I'm losing it again ...
  2. DeadAlive

    DeadAlive Member

    sounds like PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

    Keep a journal. Find a trained counselor to share it with. When you feel like your losing it; go out for a walk... remember to breathe... focus on the now... let your thoughts stream through your mind without judging them. This takes practice. Learn to practice mindfulness. Do this every day.
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Yes, I think that's a perfectly normal thing to have happen to you. Film can have a very powerful effect on our emotions, and the connection is especially deep when it reminds you of something personal and painful. Seeing such a scene, which caused this flashback, perhaps occurred on a subconscious level. That is to say, it was buried inside your memory. It's okay, though... It's art--I've had this happen to me before with a moment in a movie, or a line in a song, a story in a book. The thing to remember is that it's not your fault and that there's nothing wrong with you. Believe me! Try to recognize it for what it is: a form of entertainment; that unfortunately, spoke to you on a dark and profound level. Don't worry, talk to a friend, express your thoughts with your Mom, and understand that everything's going to be okay! :) Be Well & Best Wishes! :D
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Blacky, I am almost 67 now and still occasionally have flashbacks and night terror dreams about my difficult childhood.. Just about time without and thinking no more it happens again..

    The past has a nasty way to have to deal with past events and happenings again and again..if this keeps happening and feelings start happening often it would probably be advised to see a professional psych person for some help..

    TC, Jim
  5. Kairo

    Kairo Well-Known Member

    I know that feeling blacky...
    I think I must have block out lots of memories, and a few times things have come back to me that made me absolutely shocked and horrified and devastated.
    I don’t know how to deal with them...I wish I could give better advice. If you have someone a professional to talk to maybe it would be good to explore these memories with them, esp. if they persist and keep causing you turmoil.
    Sometimes they have kind of receded back, if you make an effort to ignore them, but usually they don't....and ignoring them's probably not the right way to go about things.

    I hope you’re ok blacky...you never know what can bring old memories to the surface...It’s awful. I hope you can find the support and strength to deal with this new difficult information you’ve remembered.
  6. howardTX

    howardTX Active Member

    OMG! Blacky, I had the exact same thing happen! I was watching that same movie and had a memory from my very early childhood come back. It has always been there but it came rushing back. I really became kind of stunned and feeling (well not quite like) like the main character in the movie. It is something that I guess I have repressed over time but I am starting to see how it could have affected me later in life. I hope you are ok and took the advise of the people above. I need to make an appointment with my counselor actually... he is always helpful and I really need to get my ship "righted".
  7. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Hey guys :)
    Thank you all for you great advice, I really appreciate it. I talked with my therapist about it today and she suggested similar things.
    I have to say I got them pretty often the last few weeks, with my final exams, my suicidal friend and other stuff happening, it wasn't the mix...
    I want to work on it so it gets better.
    Thanks again for the advice
  8. howardTX

    howardTX Active Member

    Good Luck with the Finals!!! I KNOW how it is to try and study and have darkness looming. I think the escalation of my depression happened when I was in college. I was in a cycle where I had such a hard time concentrating so I was very hard on myself. mentally and physically. I was not raised in an environment like that but at the time it seemed like the only way to get myself to try my hardest and make good grades. well, I was just hoping for passing grades at that point. In a fortunately/unfortunately scenario, I did do much better but it came at a price of being very hard on myself which still goes on today. Blacky, glad you were able to talk to your therapist.... I need to talk to mine but can't seem to make the call for an appointment.
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