**reply only if you honestly know what to say** I am scared that I will fail everyone I know. I hate the person who currently is allowing me to stay under her roof because every time I fuck up she tears into me like a momma bear after a whole winters fucking hibernation!!!! I can't function here... when she found out I was a cutter she MADE IT WORSE she said I was stupid and worthless and I just fucking hate her damnit. ALl I fucking want is to be treated like a human being for once maybe then I wouldn't sit on my be each night sobbing while holding to a knife thinking "just one slice and it'll all be over" over with my brother's gun to my head hoping that for once I wouldn't be a mother fucking chicken and that I would just fucking be able to pull the fucking trigger and DIE just FUCKING DIE. I LONG FOR IT! WHY CAN'T I GET THE RESULTS I SO CRAVE!!!! please. . . just. . . for once give me the strength to die. . . I don't want to hurt anymore. . . please. . .