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Flatmates don't understand my ocd?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by anarulesmenow, Sep 19, 2012.

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  1. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Hi just moved to Uni and I have OCD (as well as Bipolar). I made a post a few days ago about my odd behaviour due to this and whether I should tell them or not. Anyway, it seems to me that they don't understand my ocd, which is odd as one of them deffo has ocd too, and the others like to be clean too.
    I'm a clean person, shower a lot and like to tidy away. I also have eating issues and don't like eating in front of others.
    Anyway, I bought some things like coffee, tea, a toaster, a kettle, and sweetener and I put these on the windowsill in the kitchen as I thought other people might want to use them (and they have been). There weren't enough cupboards for everyones stuff and the others brought a lot more than me so there isnt room for me to put all this stuff away (apart from in one cupboard). This one cupboard has loads of dirt and stains in it and I hate other peoples dirt, especially if I don't know who's it is (as it appears to be from a previous housemate).
    My OCD housemate just had a massive go at me for leaving my coffee pot etc on this windowsill and tried to make me put it in this mucky cupboard in front of everyone. Now the stuff on the windowsill is in a VERY tidy manner and everyone has been using it, and the cupboard is so mucky I can't face putting stuff in it. I get that he likes things ordered but he just couldn't seem to understand just how much I detest the idea of putting this stuff in it.

    Seriously, I was almost in tears and had to stop myself from crying in front of them all. He said 'Can't you just clean it?' but that involves me touching it and I wouldn't ask anyone else to clean it but he said he wouldn't because it was too dirty. But when I said that he just made me look like a complete idiot. He said its irrational as the teabags etc wouldn't actually be touching the stains but thats not the point to me. This guy has his cutlery all ordered in a line and he has a go at me being irrational? I'm not trying to take the mickey out of people with ocd as I obviously have it. And I will clean the cupboard if I have to but it will take me hours to get it right, but he couldn't get that, he wanted my stuff just shoved in straight away. I'm not trying to be difficult but I just do not know what to do as I now seem like the difficult one. Never mind the fact that everyone else INCLUDING HIM were using my toaster, open washing up liquid and kettle (which he told me to put in the cupboard, which seems rather inconvenient).
    Also, when I made my lunch this morning, I had just finished a mug of tea and left the mug in the washing up bowl to put my lunch in my room and came STRAIGHT BACK to wash it up and he was already there doing it, which is bloody annoying. There was still tea stains in it when he'd finished too.

    I also don't like eating in front of people and this evening was the first time I had eaten in front of them and there was a little bit of tomato ketchup on my plate whilst I was still eating and he was just giving me a dirty look for that and I don't feel like I can eat in front of them anymore. I get that he doesn't like mess but it just seems like he can't understand how much I hate dirt either. For example, he was going on about the cupboard and I was going 'BUT IT'S NOT CLEAN' and one of my other housemates went 'But he has ocd, it annoys him, you don't get it'. YES I BLOODY DO. Now everyone else just thinks I'm being difficult.

    Sorry if I sound like a right idiot but I hope you understand why I'm upset.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I do understand hun i think you s hould have the choice of where you put your things If it bothers him then it is up to HIM to clean cupboard so you can put things away not you
    It is hard living with others hun i know that much but just try to do your own thing when he is not around hugs
  3. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Yes, I see your predicament. OCD takes several different forms and most assuredly will make two people of different flavours of OCD rub each other the wrong way like crazy.

    It is unfair of them to insist you use this cupboard and yet refuse to clean it for you. If it matters so much to them that your things be put in that cupboard as opposed to the windowsill, it is perfectly fair of you to request that they make that cupboard suitable.

    I have a suggestion for you in case a stalemate is reached on the cupboard vs. windowsill argument. You could purchase a medium or small sized plastic bin in which to store your things. You could then either store that in your own room, away from the kitchen and your roommate's grabby fingers. Or, if you feel comfortable you could use the bin as a safe and clean buffer between your things and the surrounding cupboard. Although, I'm thinking that second option wouldn't do. I have OCD myself and if I read your post right, i wouldn't want my things anywhere near that cupboard, contained in a clean bin or otherwise.
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