Hi, I'm new here and have stumbled upon this site looking for answers. I'm suffering from depression but have only been to see the doctor once about it. She offered meds but decided not to have them and try therapy. Therapist phoned, didn't like him end off that. I feel my depression is more of a way of thinking than an illness. I have a wife who I've been with for over 9 years and a beautiful daughter of 18months. I realise I'm lucky to have these but it doesn't change the way I feel. I have plenty of people around me who I can call friends but feel alone. I go to work everyday with a fake smile on my face just to get a pay check at the end of the month as my family need the money. I feel as if I'm floating through life and I'm just looking for someone who can relate to anything I'm feeling and thinking but everyone's story doesn't even feel close to mine. I realise people here are going to tell me to get back to the doctors and seek help, medication but I don't understand how that is going to change my thought process.