Food and body image

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Ruby, Jan 11, 2007.

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  1. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I used to be bulimic. Note 'used'. I don't purge anymore. I hate food. I hate it so much. It makes me feel ill and it makes me fat. I like feeling empty and I feel a sense of willpower when I manage to go a whole day without food. I hate myself for eating. Why do I resort to eating? I don't want to be fat, or curvy.. or even slim. I want to be THIN. Underweight, emaciated. I love the delicate look. Thin is beautiful. I'd rather be thin than obese. Obesity is the worst thing in the world. It's disgusting. It's grotesque. Sometimes I even think about taking drugs to give me huge amounts of energy and decrease my appetite. I want surgery to reduce the size of my stomach, but unfortunately I don't think the criteria (I think you have to have a BMI of 40>). YES TO THIN.
  2. hey, i know what you're going through. there will be occassional times where i'll purge my food, or starve myself, just because i hate myself so much. i too want to be thinner, but it sounds to me like you want to be more then thin. is that your idea of being perfect, or do you beleive that the thinner you get, the closer you are to disapearing? or do you just hate yourself too much like i do? and please don't you ever go to drugs. it just isn't worth it.
  3. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I think that the emaciated look is attractive. I also think that it's more acceptable to be thin. I wouldn't be insulted if somebody called me 'anorexic' or 'skinny' but I'd be insulted if somebody called me 'fat' or 'obese'. Also, in my school skinny people seemed to be extremely popular and I basically aspired to be them. Perfect.
  4. Stray Kitten

    Stray Kitten Active Member

    From what you say, it sounds as if you have a serious eating disorder. Even if you reach your "ideal weight" you won't be satisified. The only real way to end up satisfied when you look in the mirror is to seek help to accept your body the way it is, and learn that thinner isn't better.

    Life is an awful lot bigger than a school's popularity contest. It sounds like you need help, otherwise you're putting your mental and physical health on the line. I really, really do advise you go and speak to someone before this gets out of hand.
  5. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hi Ruby,

    I don't have any knowledge about eating disorders, but i just wanted to reply to your post to let you know that I have heard you.

    I completely agree with Stray Kitten.. it's sometimes easy to say and harder to do, but i think that self acceptance needs to come from within. Ok so the popular people may be thin.. but so what? Once you've finished school you'll most probably never see them again.

  6. derbygirl

    derbygirl Chat and Forum Buddy

    You mentioned the popular girls of being 'perfect'. This is not so. As a result of them being so underweight, they may experience such symptoms as: constant fatigue, depression (as they desire to be just that 'perfect' is such a drain on a person) and a mountainous list of other very serious physical ailments. Is this really worth it? As for myself, been there done's not a pleasant place to hold your life. And to see other people, including a best friend almost dying from anorexia go through the same thing, it is really heart breaking.

    Take care hun, and remember food is not the enemy. But as with everything else, it takes time for that to 'sink in'.
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