I'm fat. I'm grotesque. I no longer purge and i'm sure that's the reason for this. People tell me, ''starving won't make you lose weight''. SORRY, I'VE STARVED FOR FIVE DAYS AND I'VE LOST WEIGHT! Maybe if I could go for a week without eating. I'm desperate to eat everything in this house and sit for hours vomiting. I want to take every laxative. I WANT TO FEEL EMPTY AGAIN. PURE. I hate this, I hate it. I cant be fat, no. Id rather DIE than be fat. I want to feel empty, not disgusting with a belly full of food. I want to have a concave stomach, my ribs visable to everyone. I want my size 00 clothes to hang off me. I want to be perfect in this fucked up situation. :sad: