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Fooling myself?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Sa Palomera, Sep 13, 2008.

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  1. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I'm starting to wonder whether I've been fooling myself into believing I was actually better. :sad:

    After spending a year in day-time therapy I quit the group and didn't do anything for 2 weeks. I wasn't feeling too well those two weeks, but that was mainly due to the fact that I didn't have anything to do really.

    Then I started my job, and things went up. I spent more time communicating with my dad and his wife and I'm even going down there for a weekend every now and again. I am making money to pay off my debts, I have things to look forward to, etc.
    Yet I've been feeling so down in the dumps the last week. It started on Thursday last week and hasn't really left anymore.
    Is it really just a phase now or was the feeling good all a mask that I fooled myself into believing, but which has started falling off now I'm getting so stressed over all the stuff happening at work? Am I taking on too much at work?
    Or have I never really recovered from my depression and did I just get a lot of distraction at work? But then work was getting more and more stressful, being put in charge at times, being announced "employee of the week", having to work at all sections, having to work 10hrs shifts, etc.

    I don't know what to do to get out of this hole that I'm falling right back into.
    Hanging out with my mates hasn't been possible, cos of work. And I already managed to get arranged that I only have to work for +/- 24hrs a week for a while, so that's a good step, but I notice that I'm isolating myself more and more again. And the difference with other times is that I don't even chat on MSN about it much anymore, whereas I used to seek contact with my online friends when I was isolating myself more and more IRL.
    But then again, I would just go into a chat or something, and I would be in touch with online people automatically that way.

    So I don't know, maybe anyone has any advice and maybe knows of some good chat rooms somewhere?

    I don't want to get back down to the point where I'm drinking as much. I've already been drinking more lately, still not much, but I notice the amount of alcohol that I'm consuming increasing more and more :dunno:
    Also I've been eating less and self harming again every now and then.
    I wanna put a stop to this before it's too late. :sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 13, 2008
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :hug: est
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