Apparently the third time isn't the charm, for me at least - I failed again. First time was 3 years ago - I was in a shared house, but we all had individual locks on our doors. I locked myself in and OD'd - my housemates thought I was at uni, my unimates thought I was at home. Alas, the girl who'd had my room the year before kept a copy of the key, let herself into my room to play with my pet rats thinking I'd be out for hours, and found me unconscious. Fail. One night in hospital on IVs, convinced the staff it was an impulsive thing and that I regretted it so they'd let me leave. No damage. Second time was New Years Day. Thinking I'd learnt from attempt 1 I took a staggered OD, and once it got dark, went and hid in a graveyard (the irony was lost on me at the time, I just thought no-one else would be there during the night - I used to know a homeless guy who slept in the cemetery because he got a lot of abuse sleeping in town, whereas he was always left alone in the graveyard.) Got found semi-conscious by some drunk kids taking the short cut home. Fail. 4 nights in hospital, then agreed to intensive home support and talked my way out of being sectioned. My liver seems to have taken it hard, but I had some liver impairment from a chronic illness anyway. Third time was two nights ago, I tried to hang myself. I thought I'd planned it well, dangled till I passed out, woke up on the floor 2 hours later - I got the noose knot perfect and messed up the knot securing me at the top. Fail. I've had psych nurses coming over every day, and they took me to be looked over the next day, because I sucked at trying to hide it (bloody eyes & wearing a scarf indoors because your neck is black isn't subtle, apparently,) did a flit from the general hospital. They caught up with me, aren't going to bother to try to section me, I think the thought of managing my chronic physical illness on a psych ward scares them! More intensive home support. Very painful throat, too soon to say whether there's any brain damage - my cognitive abilities seem OK, my body was wrecked to begin with. I'm considering just stopping all my medication and letting my immune system slowly devour my body. It'd be a really painful drawn-out way to go, and it carries the risk of attempted heroics once I pass the point of being competent to make decisions, but it'd probably make a better job of it than I am.