For all of those people who over analyse.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Infinityjar, Jun 7, 2012.

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  1. Infinityjar

    Infinityjar New Member

    I am someone who has ruined relationships because of how I over analyze situations. I thought, I thought, and I thought again. I created situations which are not even true and then fed on the drama. I staged these misfortunes so that I could star in my own miserable production of how I was constantly wronged by my friends and loved ones. I was obsessed with small details and blowing them out of proportion.

    It started like this.

    I got older, it got worse. I fought for no reason with my parents and my friends. I screamed. I tried to harm myself. I wanted to kill myself. For it to end. Because even then, I felt like no one would care. Still wanted my drama, even after death. Wanted people to repent for how they treated me.

    I was terribly bipolar. Anything could make me happy, anything could make me sad. I felt numb. I was an amazing actress, people I met on my semester abroad thought I was a happy, lively person. Little did they know that I was pretending half the time. How well I could act scared me.

    Now, I am to return to my home country, and I want to end my life. Nothing has changed. I need help.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...I find I am prone to analyze a situation too much when I cannot act...fear is usually what drives that for me...I am sure it is different for that you are home, are there services you can access to assist you? Hoping you continue to post and welcome again
  3. Cosmopolitan1313

    Cosmopolitan1313 New Member

    Just read your post. I've PM'd you. It's scary how similar what you are feeling is, to what I am feeling. I feel exactly the same! "I Created situations which are not even true and then fed on the drama" Oh God, how many times have i done that? and what for? to star in my own miserable productions etc etc. Exactly!!!!!!!!! so silly, wanting drama, even after death, as if i would care then! And it scares me too.. just how well i can act! Only this week someone was telling me that i looked so happy and joyful and motivated(!!!!!!!!) - the OPPOSITE of what i was feeling!:confusion:
  4. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    Infinity...same here. I'm extremely good at twisting things around to mean something negative when they weren't intended that way. I know very well they weren't intended that way, but my mind still makes me over-analyze and I feel an intense need to react. If I don't react, I feel like I'm going to explode. So, I let my feelings out...and I end up upsetting people. In my case, it results from extremely low self-esteem. I'm trying to work on it. When this sort of thing happens, I remind myself that I'm blowing things way out of proportion and shouldn't do anything at all until I calm down and think about the proper way to react. It doesn't always work, but step by step, with practice, I'm hoping it will get better. -hugs-
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